


Knowing You

by IvanW



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bruises, Enhancements, First Time, Gay Sex, Genetically Altered, M/M, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Physical Abuse, Romance, Starfleet Academy, Starvation, Teenaged Jim, Teenaged Spock, Touch-Starved, Underage Sex, Vulcan, affection-starved, star-crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-20 15:23:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 33,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3655305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock, a cadet at the Starfleet Academy, meets the mysterious troubled youth, Jim, and against all logic finds himself wanting to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waiting for the Shuttle

Spock was done with his part of the official inspection of the shipyard in an Earth place called Riverside, Iowa. He’d been there forty-six hours and twenty three minutes. If he, as a Vulcan, felt anxious, he would feel that way to return to San Francisco. Of all the places he had yet encountered on Earth, San Francisco was as close to home as he knew. It was not Vulcan, but it was home, here, anyway.

Coming here had been part of his studies at the Starfleet Academy. He’d come with one of his professors, who still remained to finish the inspection. Spock had been given permission to return home.

There was a small gathering of cadets, officers, and citizens waiting to board the shuttle to San Francisco. At first, Spock had not noticed the youth standing off to the side, hands shoved into the pockets of a battered brown leather jacket. But when two female cadets laughed and pushed each other, one of them fell into the youth, who then caught Spock’s attention after the cadet apologized.

He was young. A couple of years younger than Spock, he would estimate, which would mean he was not yet eighteen. He seemed to be traveling alone, though. He had blond hair and startling blue eyes, which he kept mostly fixated on the ground. Spock had seen them when he had accepted the cadet’s apology with a strained smile.

The young man had absolutely nothing to do with Spock, yet Spock illogically found himself moving toward him. The young man looked up startled when Spock stood near him. The blue eyes widened almost in fear.

“I am Spock. A cadet from the Starfleet Academy,” Spock said.

The young man nodded, licked his lips, his gaze sliding away.

“And you are?” Spock prompted.

“Jim.”

“Only Jim?”

Jim’s gaze met his. “You are only Spock,” he said almost defiantly.

“It was my understanding humans went by more than one name.”

“Not me.”

“I see. You appear to be nervous, Jim. Are you unwell?” Spock noticed that though it was not particularly cold as they waited for the shuttle, Jim wore a turtleneck sweater, which he kept tugging at as though he were uncomfortable.

“First time riding a shuttle,” Jim replied.

“Ah. You need not fear. They are perfectly safe. You are accompanying your parents?” Spock looked around pointedly.

“No.”

“You are visiting someone in San Francisco?”

Jim shrugged. “Not exactly. I’m, uh, I’m moving there.”

Spock looked down by Jim’s feet. “You bear no luggage.”

“Gonna get stuff when I’m there.”

“Are you warm?”

Jim blinked, startled. “What?”

“Your sweater seems to be uncomfortable.”

“Oh.” Jim licked his lips again, his gaze once more sliding away. “Yeah. Um. I guess.”

Spock inclined his head. “Are you a runaway?”

At that Jim laughed. “A what? No. No. No. Nothing like that.”

“You are young.”

“I’m not that much younger than you,” Jim said to that. “How old do you think I am?”

“Sixteen or seventeen.”

“I’m eighteen.”

Spock did not actually believe him, but he nodded. “I see. Are you meeting anyone in San Francisco?”

“No.” Jim straightened from the wall he was leaning against. “Are all Vulcans this nosey or just you?”

Spock stepped back, trying not to be affronted.

“Boarding for the 9:30 shuttle to San Francisco may begin,” a voice said over the loudspeaker.

“That’s us.” Jim shoved past him and walked up the ramp ahead of Spock. There was a seat next to where Jim had sat but Spock decided it would be wiser to keep his distance from the unpleasant human.

Still throughout the voyage, Spock found his gaze repeatedly going to the fidgeting young man. Which was apparently why, when toward the end of the trip, Spock noticed the bruises all over Jim’s neck when he tugged particularly hard on his turtleneck. Spock froze, his fingers tightening on the armrests of his chair.

When the shuttle landed, Jim took off as though he was in a big hurry, but Spock was able to keep up with him. It was only a couple of blocks before Jim stopped and turned around.

“Are you following me?” Jim demanded, his blue eyes wide and haunted.

“Yes.”

“Why? Did they-did they send you?”

“Who?”

Jim shook his head.

“I am aware you have severe injuries,” Spock said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bruises on your neck. You are attempting to hide them.” Spock stepped close, not even sure why he was compelled to understand Jim. He pulled the collar of Jim’s sweater down and barely withheld a gasp. Jim’s neck was black and blue, bruises in the shape of fingers covered his throat. “Who did this to you?”

“It’s-it’s none of your business. I don’t answer to you.”

Jim was correct. He did not answer to Spock. He stepped back.

“Where are you going? If you have never been to San Francisco, do you know where you will go?”

Jim bit his lip, looked away. “I’ll-I’ll find some place.”

Spock did not know why but he knew he could not let Jim go, not like this. He could not explain why, but it seemed important. “I have an apartment. There is an extra bedroom.”

“Why would you offer me that?”

“To help.”

“If you’re with them—”

“I am not. With them. With anyone.”

Jim stared at Spock. “I don’t, you know, I don’t have sex with strangers or for money or any of that.”

Spock tried not to be affronted again. After all it was a logical conclusion for Jim to make. “I do not seek a companion for sexual congress.”

The tongue came out again, swiped over Jim’s plump bottom lip. “I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Why you’d help me. You don’t even know me. You know nothing about me.”

“I do not ‘get it’ either,” Spock admitted. “Yet my offer stands.”

“I could be a murderer.”

Spock raised a brow. “Are you?”

Jim smiled, it was just a slight lifting of the corners of his mouth. “No.”

“I could be a murderer as well.”

The corners of Jim’s mouth lifted more. “Are you?”

“Negative.”

“Negative? Vulcans are funny.”

“Perhaps. Then you will accompany me and accept the offer to stay?”

“I shouldn’t. I doubt any good can come from your knowing me.”

“Perhaps not.”

“In fact, trouble will likely follow wherever I go.”

“You are dramatic I see.”

That earned him a huff of a laugh. “You have no idea, Spock.”

Spock was afraid that was very much true.


	2. Roommates

Spock watched Jim roam around his apartment as though he was looking for something. Jim bent down in several places, looking under furniture. He pulled out drawers and opened closets. Spock let him.

“You’re a neat freak, huh?”

“I do not know what that means.”

“It means you aren’t messy.”

Spock nodded. “What are you looking for, Jim?”

“Signs of them.”

“Of who?”

Jim shot him a look, full of distrust. “Them.”

“They are chasing you? If you are in trouble we should perhaps go to the authorities. ”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m out of here.” Jim headed to the front door.

“I will not go to the authorities,” Spock said quietly. “Not without your permission.”

Jim exhaled. “So, um, where do I sleep?”

“This way.” Spock led him down the short hallway to the two bedrooms. Spock’s was on the end. “This one.”

“Hmm. You said you’re a Starfleet cadet?”

“Yes”

“How come you live off campus?”

“I prefer my privacy.”

“And a two bedroom apartment. You’re a rich Vulcan, too.”

Spock did not correct him. He did not consider himself particularly well off, although his father was an Ambassador to Earth.

Jim pulled at his shirt. “It’s hot.”

“You still have your leather jacket on.”

“Yeah.” Jim took it off. He looked down at it. “It’s not.”

“It’s not what?”

“Mine. Any of these clothes.” Jim looked away from Spock’s gaze. “I borrowed them. Kind of.”

Spock exhaled. “You mean you stole them.”

“If you want to get technical, I guess.” Jim shrugged.

“You will find I am always technical.”

“Well, uh, anyway.” Jim pulled at his sweater. “Have you got anything I can wear? This is really hot. I used it to cover, well, uh, you know.”

“Perhaps. This way.” Spock led him into his own bedroom and to his closet. He opened it for Jim to see.

Jim frowned. “These are all sweaters.”

Spock nodded. “I prefer them. But they are not all as heavy as the one you currently wear, and several of them are not turtlenecks.”

“No T-shirts?”

“Negative. You will have to obtain those yourself as part of your own wardrobe.”

“Yeah.” Jim bit his lip and stared at Spock’s sweaters. “The thing is…right now I don’t have any money to purchase anything.”

“I see.”

“I will. When I get a job. But until then.” Jim closed his eyes. “The thing is, I need to lay low for a little bit.”

“Lay low?” Spock repeated softly.

Jim nodded. “I’ll totally understand if you tell me to get lost.”

And of course Spock knew, logically, that was exactly what he should do with Jim. For all Spock knew Jim could be some sort of con-artist trying to pull some caper off on Spock. But deep down Spock did not believe that. Jim was in trouble. Spock believed that. And oddly he cared.

“You will write down your sizes for me.”

“Why?”

“How will I know what clothing to purchase for you?”

Jim huffed out a breath. “You don’t have to do that.”

“It would seem if I do not wish to share my wardrobe with you for an extended period I do indeed have to do that.” Spock chose a light sweater in maroon and handed it to Jim. “I do not have trousers that will fit you so you will need to make do with what you have until I come home tomorrow. There are towels in the bathroom if you would like to shower. I can lend you a sleeping robe for the night.”

Jim’s blue eyes seemed almost too intense as they stared at Spock. “Thank you. For everything. I don’t think I can ever repay your kindness.”

Spock gave a tiny shrug of his shoulders. “When you are through, come out and I will have some tea for you. Are you hungry?”

Jim licked his lips. “A little, yeah.”

Spock withdrew one of his sleeping robes and handed it to Jim and then he left him to it.

****

Spock had just finished making up a plate of eggs and fried potatoes when Jim emerged from the hallway. He wore the sleeping robe Spock had loaned to him and his blond hair was damp. He looked almost impossibly young as he stood there looking hopeful and anxious at the same time. Now that the turtleneck sweater had been removed, Spock had a full view of the injuries to Jim’s neck.

He sucked in a breath. “Do they hurt?”

Jim lowered his gaze. “Yeah. Not as much as before. But they’re still sore.”

“I have food ready for you. Please sit down.” Spock gestured to his dining room table. He brought the plate to Jim as well as some tea. When Jim began to eat, Spock sat next to him.

“You aren’t hungry?” Jim asked, shoveling food into his mouth very fast.

“Not at present.” Spock continued to watch as Jim ate every bit of the food he’d brought him. “Who did this to you?” Spock asked, his gaze on Jim’s neck.

“It’s not important.”

“I disagree. They should be made to pay for it.”

Jim gave him a ghost of a smile. “That isn’t going to happen.”

“Your parents?” Spock persisted.

“No,” Jim replied, reaching for his tea. “They aren’t around anymore.”

“They died?”

Jim nodded, his eyes downcast.

“Who have you been staying with?”

But Jim suddenly looked up, his eyes suddenly looking vacant, his expression closed off. “Do you need help with the dishes or anything?”

“No.”

“Then, can I go to bed? I’m kind of tired.”

“You do not need my permission.” Spock rose and pulled out a notepad from one of the drawers. “Please write down the sizes and types of clothing you will need. Also color preferences. I will likely go to the store after my classes have concluded tomorrow morning.”

Jim wrote on the notepad, clutching the pen Spock gave him very tightly in his right hand. He then stood up and handed it to Spock.

“Jim?”

“Yes?”

Spock lifted his hand toward the bruises. “May I?”

“What?”

“Touch them. I will not hurt you.”

“Okay.”

Spock lightly dusted his fingertips over the worst of Jim’s bruises, taking on some of Jim’s pain. His heart thumped in his side, hard and fast. The pain was much greater than Jim let on. Spock lowered his hand.

“Did you do something? It doesn’t hurt as much.”

“Very light pain management,” Spock replied.

“It helped. And here I am thanking you again.”

“Your thanks are not necessary. Goodnight, Jim.”

“Goodnight, Spock.”

When Jim went down the hall, Spock glanced down at the note in his hand. Jim had listed pants, shirts, underwear, socks, and pajamas. For some reason pajamas touched Spock particularly. Spock decided he would buy all that and shoes and a bath robe for Jim as well. He might need more food in the apartment if it was no longer just him. Human teenaged boys needed a lot of food.

Spock had found himself a roommate. Whether he had desired one or not.  


	3. Shopping for Jim

“And then she said…wait, are you even listening to me, Spock?” Nyota asked, stopping midsentence to glare at Spock.

He had met Nyota Uhura at the beginning of the semester and they had become friends over their mutual preference for tea when many of their classmates haunted the coffee shops in and around the campus. They were now sharing tea in the cafeteria between classes.

When they’d first met, Nyota had expressed a romantic interest in Spock, but Spock had quickly disavowed her of that interest. He found her a fascinating friend, but friendship was all he could offer her.

“I apologize, Nyota. My mind is elsewhere.”

His mind was on the young human male he’d left in his apartment sleeping that morning. Spock had left him instructions before he’d headed for the campus. He’d advised Jim he could eat anything he wished in the apartment and also where Spock’s kitchen equipment was if Jim chose to attempt to cook anything.

“Yeah? On what?” Nyota asked.

Spock did not think Jim would appreciate Spock telling anyone about him. After all Jim had expressed a desire to ‘lay low’. “An exam coming up.”

Nyota laughed. “I don’t think you need to think about an exam that hard, Spock. You pass all of them with the highest grade in every class.”

“You are probably right. And now it is time for my last class.”

“You want to do dinner later?”

“I am afraid not tonight, Nyota.”

She eyed him. “Other plans?”

“Indeed.” Spock stood. He hoped she would not ask what other plans. Vulcans did not lie, but neither could he tell her the truth. Fortunately she picked up her PADD and with a smile and a wave, headed for her next class.

Spock was not in the habit of skipping his courses but since the last class he had that day was a lecture he himself had written for the professor, he knew he did not have to attend the class. In fact, his professor had excused him. He had not lied when advising Nyota it was time for his next class, for it was.

He made his way off campus and to a department store he was familiar with. In truth, Spock knew little about purchasing clothes for teenaged human males. He suspected he was about to be forced to learn.

After purchasing several items—which would be awkward to carry considering his next destination would be the grocery store— Spock decided to have the items delivered to his apartment for an extra charge.

By the time Spock finished with the food shopping he was anxious to return home. For some reason as he approached his apartment door he was filled with apprehension. Perhaps Jim had not stayed. That was certainly possible. And if Jim left, Spock had little hope of finding him again. Oddly, against all logic, the thought of that bothered Spock a great deal.

Shifting the groceries on his hip, Spock opened the door to his apartment and stepped inside. When he saw Jim sitting on the couch, all tensed and ready to flee, Spock blew out a breath. Jim had not left.

“It is only me,” Spock said, pleased when Jim relaxed.

He was wearing the same too big jeans he had been wearing the day before but also Spock’s maroon sweater. Spock liked the way it looked on Jim.

Spock carried the groceries into the kitchen and Jim followed him in there, peaking inside the bags Spock had set on the counter.

“Oh, pasta. I love pasta,” Jim declared.

“Did you eat something?”

“Yeah I made myself some more eggs this morning. And I ate a loaf of bread.”

Spock arched a brow. “An entire loaf?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jim’s gaze slid away.

“It is fine. I have bought more.”

Jim looked back at him. “Yeah?”

“Indeed.” Spock had noticed Jim was perhaps a little too thin. He had a feeling Jim had not been cared for properly for a long time.

“That bread was good. Different.”

“It is Kreyla. Vulcan bread.”

“Oh, cool.”

There was a knock on the door and Jim froze, his blue eyes going wide.

“It is likely the delivery man with the clothes I purchased for you,” Spock said gently. But as he headed for the door, Jim disappeared down the hallway. Spock felt an ache in his side as he opened the door. As he suspected, it was his purchases from the department store. Spock signed for the packages and then closed the door.

A moment later, Jim came out again. His gaze took in all the packages. “Those aren’t all for me, are they?”

“Affirmative. There are three pairs of jeans. I am told teenaged males prefer this attire. There is one pair of gray pants that are not jeans. There are two packages of socks. Four pairs of shoes, one of which is an athletic pair. Four T-shirts in shades of gray, black, gold, and blue. There are two additional shirts with buttons, those are gray and dark green. You may keep the maroon sweater you are wearing. I have purchased you two packages of boxer briefs. Two sets of pajamas as well as pajama pants and what are called tank tops. Finally, there is a bath robe in navy.”

Jim was staring at Spock, with his mouth hanging open. “What?”

“If you require more—”

“No, no, no.” Jim shook his head frantically. “I-I can’t. I don’t even know how I’ll pay for all of this.”

Spock shook his head. “You do not need to. It is a gift.”

“Wait. What? I can’t—”

“Humans receive gifts do they not?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.”

“Then that is what this is. I do not require repayment.”

Jim bit his lip. “Why? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“You are not used to those around you treating you nicely, is that true?”

Jim nodded.

“I have no ulterior motive. You need help, I am helping you.”

“No one helps me,” Jim whispered. “It’s not a good idea.”

Spock moved into the kitchen to start water for tea. “Why is it not a good idea, Jim? Is it them again?”

“I’m not paranoid. They exist.”

Spock’s gaze flicked to the bruises on Jim’s neck. “I am aware you got those from somewhere. Do you have other injuries?”

Jim looked away and Spock knew he had his answer.

“More bruises?” he asked quietly.

Jim shrugged.

“Any open wounds or cuts?”

“It’s nothing.”

Spock exhaled slowly. “I have a salve for your wounds. We should take care of them.”

Jim licked his lips but did not meet Spock’s case. “A salve?”

“One I obtained from my mother. She is human. It helps with healing.”

“Maybe-maybe you could just give it to me and I’ll take care of them.”

Which meant to Spock the cuts or wounds were likely in areas Jim was not comfortable sharing with Spock. This made his heart ache more and he could not help but wonder who had done such monstrous things to Jim.

“Very well,” Spock agreed and went to get the salve.   


	4. Kirk

Spock made pasta for their dinner, purposely giving Jim a much more generous portion than the one he gave himself. He was not at all surprised when Jim ate every bite.

“That was really good,” Jim said when his plate was empty. “Are you usually this good at cooking?”

Spock inclined his head. “I do not have a lot of opportunity to cook for anyone besides myself.”

“Really? I would have thought you had a girlfriend.”

“I do not have a girlfriend.”

Jim smiled a little. “That’s hard to believe.”

“Why?” Spock asked curiously.

“Well, you’re just so gorgeous and—” Jim stopped, turned bright red. He looked away.

“I do not have a girlfriend,” Spock said again. “Nor a boyfriend,” he added quietly.

Jim looked back at him, blue eyes wide.

Spock decided it was time to change the subject. “Jim, I would like to make some personal inquiries.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you tell me your full name?” With Jim’s full name, Spock might be able to find out information about what sort of life Jim came from and what he was running from.

“I don’t—”

“It would only be between you and me. I would never betray your confidence.”

Jim looked down at his clenched hands. “Sometimes others do or say things they think are helping but aren’t.”

“Meaning?”

“You say now it would be between us but if you thought it would be in my best interest you would share the information.”

Spock shook his head. “Negative. I would not. Never without your permission.”

Jim bit his lip. “Okay.” He exhaled. “Kirk. Jim Kirk.”

“Is your full name James?”

Jim nodded. “James Tiberius Kirk.”

“Very well. May I ask other queries?”

“All right. But I won’t answer if I don’t want to.”

“That is reasonable.” Spock rose from the table and picked up their plates and put them in the sink. “Would you like hot tea?”

“Do you have cocoa?”

Spock shook his head. “I do not and did not think to purchase any.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded. “Okay. Tea then.”

“I will buy some tomorrow,” Spock said.

“That’s all right. You don’t have to.”

“It will be no trouble.” He brought a pot of tea and two cups to the table and then sat. “Did you get hot cocoa from your parents?”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“But not for a while?”

“The last place we lived, we couldn’t get hot cocoa.”

“Was it somewhere other than Iowa?”

Jim stared at the tea cup as Spock poured the steeped tea. “Yeah.”

Spock watched him. “Off Earth?”

Jim met his gaze. “Yes.”

“I see. When did your parents die?” Spock asked.

“A while ago,” Jim answered vaguely.

“Who was taking care of you?”

“I took care of myself.”

“What planet were you on?”

Jim shook his head.

“Did you know those that harmed you?”

“I knew of them,” Jim answered.

“Jim, were you-have you—”

Jim’s eyes widened and he turned very pink. He licked his lips. “No.”

“Are you certain?”

“How can I not be certain?”

“I only meant that you can tell me the truth. It would be only between us.”

“It’s the truth. No one. I haven’t done anything. With-with any of that. And no one’s forced me.”

Spock nodded. “That is fortunate then.”

“Can we talk about something else now? I’m tired of talking about me.”

“Very well. What did you do today while I was gone?” Spock asked.

“I read your books.”

“Which one?”

“All of them.” Jim grinned.

Spock blinked. “All of them?”

Jim nodded. “Well, okay, I didn’t read all the ones you have that are in Vulcan. I did start one of them though. I’m using your computer to teach myself how to read it.”

“I see.”

“I also played chess with your computer. I beat it ten times in a row.” Jim shook his head. “I’m reprograming it.”

“You are reprogramming my computer?”

“Don’t look so panicked.”

Spock sniffed. “Vulcans do not panic.”

Jim laughed. “Okay. But I’m only reprogramming the chess program. It’s way too easy.”

“Very well. But do not reprogram anything else.” Spock paused. “Did you really read all of my books?”

“Only the ones in standard.” Jim shrugged. “I was bored. So I‘m learning Vulcan. After that, maybe some other languages.”

“Do you have any living relatives?”

Jim tensed up at the question and for a moment, Spock believed Jim would refuse to answer. But then he said, “I had a brother once.”

“Yes?”

“We called him Sam. His name was George Samuel, but no one called him that.”

“Where is he?” Spock asked softly when Jim did not continue.

“He was murdered,” Jim whispered. He stood up abruptly. “Can I be excused? I’d like to take a shower.”

Spock felt a strange urge to draw Jim near and comfort him. He could not, of course. He nodded.

Jim gave him a beautiful smile filled with nearly overwhelming relief. “Thanks, Spock. For-for everything.”

“You are welcome, Jim.”  


	5. Drowning in Blue

Spock stopped outside the door to Jim’s room. He could hear Jim within, obviously done with his shower. He was about to turn away when he heard what sounded like crying. Spock knocked on the door.

“Jim?”

“H-hang on.” A long pause. “Okay, come in.”

Spock opened the door. Jim was standing by the mirror. He wore a pair of the pajama bottoms Spock had given him and a dark blue tank top. The bruises all over his neck were visible as well as bruises on his arms and scratches too. Jim’s eyes were red.

“You are upset.”

“No. I-I’m all right.” Jim wiped his hand over his face.

“I heard you crying.”

“No. “ Jim looked at the floor. “Sometimes I think-I think about them.”

“Your parents? Your brother?”

“Yeah.”

“It has not been long, has it?” Spock asked gently.

“Long enough,” Jim whispered.

Spock took a step forward, almost reaching out, but he stopped at the last minute. “Would you like to play chess?”

Jim’s gaze rose. “With the computer?”

“With me.”

“Yeah?” Jim smiled a little, though there was still a wet sheen to his blue eyes. “I’d like that.”

“I will set it up. Come out when you’re ready.”

Spock left Jim’s room feeling more affected by Jim’s distress than he should have been. What was this unusual draw for Jim? Yes, Jim was a beautiful boy, but Spock had been attracted to others before and not felt this pull. He would need to speak to his father for guidance.

“Spock?”

Spock looked up from the three dimensional chess set he’d been setting up. “Would you care for any tea?”

Jim shook his head. “I’m really not much of a tea drinker, honestly.” He sat across from Spock.

Spock nodded. “You may move first, Jim.”

Jim looked at the game and moved a pawn.

They played silently for a time. Spock was quite impressed with Jim’s skills.

“Jim?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Will you tell me who is after you?”

“No.” Jim shook his head. “I can’t.”

Spock was dissatisfied with that response but there was little he could do about it. “Very well. Will you tell me more about your family?” Spock moved another chess piece.

Jim bit his lip. “What do you want to know?”

“Where you came from.”

Jim studied the game and then made his move. “Check. Originally that place. Riverside.”

Spock removed his king from imminent danger. “Is that where you lived when they died?”

“No,” Jim whispered. “We-we went someplace else.”

“The other planet?”

“Yeah. Checkmate.” Jim leaned back in his chair while Spock stared at the game he’d lost. “At first…it was great. Paradise really. Oceans and lakes so clear and beautiful. It was supposed to be a new start for us. And it was.”

“What did you do there?”

“Sam and I went to school. When we had free time we’d go hiking and stuff. You know, as a family.”

“How long were you there?”

“A few years. We were really happy.”

“And then?” Spock prompted when Jim didn’t continue.

“And then… we weren’t. You know, um, I think I’m more tired than I thought.”

“I apologize. I did not mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” Jim stood. “But I think I’m going to bed.”

Spock followed Jim down the hall. “Jim, I—”

Jim stopped in the doorway of his room. “What?”

“I am… completely outside of my element,” Spock admitted. “Sometimes I say the wrong things.”

“It’s all right, Spock.”

“No, it is not.” Spock stared at Jim’s neck. His hand rose toward the bruises of their own accord, but instead of touching the dark smudges, his fingers rested on the curve of Jim’s jaw. “Does it still hurt?”

Jim swallowed. “Yeah, a little. When I bump it.”

Spock felt rage threaten to overtake him, his control slipping. “They wished to kill you.”

“Yeah.”

Spock met Jim’s gaze.

Jim blinked. “Are you angry?”

“Not at you, Jim. At those who did this to you.”

“Why?”

Spock was not really sure himself. “I wish to exact revenge.”

“Revenge?”

“For what they have done to you.”

“You don’t really even know me,” Jim reminded him softly. “Maybe I deserved it.”

“No one deserves this, let alone you.”

Jim gave a little shaky gasp. “And how do you know that?”

“I feel your innocence, your kindness.”

“Spock, I—”

“You are young.” Spock dropped his hand away and stepped back.

Jim shook his head and laughed a little. “You’re not that much older than me. You only pretend to be.”

Spock inclined his head. “Maybe. You are safe here, Jim. No harm will come to you.”

“I hope that’s true.” Jim stepped fully into the bedroom and closed the door. Saying as he did, “Goodnight, Spock.”

Meditation. Much meditation was needed.


	6. They Come at Night

Spock was brought out of deep meditation by an unfamiliar sound in the apartment. For a moment he sat there, waiting, alert. But the sound did not repeat. He rose from his position on the floor, straightening his mediation robe.

When he exited his bedroom, it was immediately apparent that Jim’s door was open and the room was empty. He turned on the lights and made his way out to the living room.  

Jim sat on the couch, his legs tucked close. He was dressed once more in the leather jacket he’d been wearing when Spock first came upon him. In his hands was a phaser.

“Jim?”

Jim’s gaze darted to Spock and for a moment it was as though he did not recognize Spock. His blue gaze was frightened, stricken, but also cold and hard, trapped like a wild animal.

“They come at night,” Jim said flatly.

“Who comes at night?”

“Them.” The phaser shook in his hands , then with a hard look, Jim steadied it. “I can’t let down my guard.”

“They will not come here.” Spock eyed the phaser.  “James, put down the phaser.”

Jim shook his head.

“Give it to me. I will keep it.”

“No, I need it. When they come.”

“They will not.”

Another shake of his head. His eyes glistened with tears. “You don’t know. They always come.”

Spock sat on the other end of the couch. “Did they come at night for Sam?”

“No,” Jim whispered. “They came for me.”

“You?”

Jim nodded. “He—Sam went in my place. He wouldn’t let them take me. He went in my place. They-they-they took him.”

The phaser shook again. Spock moved closer.

“You were not responsible for what happened to Sam.”

“It should have been me.”

“No.”

Jim stared at Spock, his eyes wide. “Don’t come closer. I know about Vulcans.”

“What do you know?”

“You can do that neck thing. It would render me unconscious.”

Spock shook his head. “I will not do that to you, Jim. You have my word. But you do not need your phaser here.” Spock had not even known Jim had a phaser. He had not thought to look among Jim’s things.

“I heard a noise.”

“Buildings make noises. And there are others living here. Did you have a dream?”

Jim shook his head. “No. I try not to sleep long enough to dream. They come while you’re asleep.”

“You have been through much for one so young, but I assure you that you are safe here.”

“You can’t protect me, Spock.”

“I can.”

Jim became more agitated, drawing into himself. “I shouldn’t have come here. They’ll be after you now. I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that.”

“I am in no danger,” Spock assured him reasonably. “Did they attack you in Riverside?”

Jim’s gaze flicked to Spock. “No. Not there.”

“Why were you there?”

“We were from there. I thought-I thought it might be safe.”

“But it wasn’t?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. It was stupid to go there. Probably the first place they’d look.”

“Perhaps.” Spock held out his hand for the phaser. “Please.”

Jim exhaled very slowly, his breath coming out like a gasp. But he placed the phaser in Spock’s outstretched hand. Spock glanced down and saw that it was set to kill. He changed it.

“I know you are very frightened.”

Jim just stared at him, the wild animal look in his eyes again.

“I will not harm you. You can trust me. If you trust no one else, Jim, you can trust me. I am your friend.”

“My friend,” Jim whispered, almost reverently. “I lost all my friends.”

“You have me.” Spock watched as Jim’s bottom lip trembled. Human emotions were difficult to manage. Young male human emotions such as Jim’s seemed even more so. He had been right when he told Jim he was out of his element. Perhaps he should seek some advice. How to do that without betraying Jim’s trust would not be a small matter. “Are you hungry?”

Jim’s gaze lowered to the floor. “I’m always hungry.”

Spock nodded. “I can make you pancakes if you would like. And then after, perhaps you can try to sleep at least for a couple of hours. You are overtired.”

“Maybe I should just get out of here. Get out of your hair.”

“No,” Spock said firmly. “You are not in my hair, whatever that means. And you most certainly should not keep running. That is the way those that are after you will find you. You must exercise caution.”

“You believe me, right?”

It was true Spock was not certain what to believe. Jim sounded more than a little paranoid and delusional. But it was certainly clear that something had happened. Someone had tried to kill him.

“I believe that something very traumatic has occurred to you and your family,” Spock said carefully. He rose from the couch and found a drawer with a lock to put the phaser in. He went into the kitchen. Jim got up and followed him in.

“You don’t have coffee, do you?”

Spock shook his head. “I do not. And I do not think it wise for you to have caffeinated beverages before you try to sleep.”

“How old are you anyway?”

“I am nearly nineteen.”

“That means eighteen, by the way.”

Spock inclined his head. “It does.”

“You sound like you try to be older. More serious. Is that a Vulcan thing?”

“Most likely,” Spock acknowledged. “How old are you? Truthfully.”

Jim smiled just a little. “I am nearly eighteen.”

“That means seventeen, by the way,” Spock said in echo of him.

“Yep,” Jim agreed. “We’re practically the same age.”

“Hardly.”

Jim stared at the drawer where Spock had place the phaser. “That lock won’t stop me, you know.”

Spock blinked.

“I can pick locks,” Jim explained. “But don’t worry. I wouldn’t shoot you.”

Spock wished he was comforted by that.    


	7. Leonard

Spock surveyed the cafeteria at the academy looking for the one person he thought might be able to assist him with Jim.

That morning when he’d left for his classes, Spock had looked in on Jim in his room. Jim had been face down in his bed, wearing the sleep robe Spock had loaned him his first night. The sight of Jim in the simple brown robe with his blond hair standing on end had moved something inside Spock he thought immovable. But he had concerns he could not offer Jim everything the young man required.

He finally spotted the classmate he sought and he made his way over there with his own plate of vegetables and a tea.

The man, Leonard McCoy, looked up as Spock approached, scrunching his face up. He was older than Spock, already in his twenties and already a doctor in his residency as well as attending the academy.

“Leonard, may I join you?”

“Sure, Spock.” Leonard indicated the seat across from him. Leonard had half a sandwich in front of him as well as a cup of coffee. He had been carefully studying a PADD.

“I apologize for interrupting.”

“Nah, you aren’t. This is boring medical stuff anyway.” Leonard leaned back in his chair. “What’s up?”

“I have a dilemma.”

“A medical dilemma?” Leonard reached next to him and then set a medical bag on the table. “I probably have a hypospray for that. Though some of them don’t work too well on Vulcans. May give you a queasy stomach.”

“Not a medical problem.” Spock shook his head. “Not precisely.”

Leonard picked up his coffee. “What then?”

“I…have a houseguest.”

“A houseguest.”

“Yes. I cannot give you any information about this houseguest.”

Leonard smirked. “Male or female?”

Spock considered whether it would even be appropriate to reveal that much information. “Male,” he said eventually.

“Oh ho. A boyfriend then, Spock? I thought you said you wanted to focus solely on your academics.”

“He is not a boyfriend in the sense you mean. He is a boy and a friend.”

“But you have no romantic interest?”

Vulcans did not lie, however, Spock was not quite certain what his interest in Jim was. He found Jim to be an extremely attractive human male. But it was true that Spock was not looking for that sort of relationship. “That is correct.”

“I see.” Leonard took a sip of his coffee. “You don’t sound so certain, Spock.”

“As you said, my focus is on my Starfleet future.”

“What about this houseguest of yours. Is he Vulcan?”

“I am not able to give you that information.”

“How am I supposed to help then?”

“I do not know,” Spock admitted. “This houseguest is quite young.”

“A child?” Leonard asked with a frown.

“Not precisely.”

Leonard snorted. “You’re being very mysterious, Spock.”

“It is difficult to discuss this matter with the limited information I may reveal.” Spock poked at his vegetables. “He has been abused.”

“Abused?”

“Yes. I have inquired as to sexual abuse and he has denied that. But there are cuts and bruises all over him and indications they tried to strangle him.”

“This sounds very serious.”

“It is. He suffers from extreme paranoia,” Spock admitted. “But I believe it is for good cause.”

“How did you get this houseguest, Spock?”

“I cannot reveal that information.”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “What do you want from me then?”

“He is…emotionally distraught.”

“Not a Vulcan then. A human?”

“Yes,” Spock admitted reluctantly. “I am unused to dealing with emotionally distraught humans.”

“To put it mildly.”

Spock nodded.

“Well, at least it sounds like you got him out of the abuse situation. That’s good. You want me to treat his injuries?”

Spock shook his head. “He would not let you near him. He barely lets me near him.”

“Then what do you want to know? How to deal with an emotionally distraught human male who isn’t precisely a child?”

“Essentially, yes.”

Leonard laughed softly. “I’d say you have to deal with him very carefully. I’m guessing this boy’s a teenager and human males in their teens are the worst. He’s probably blown up with hormones. And testosterone for that matter.”

“He is afraid.”

“That will only add to the entire mess. I don’t know, Spock. Maybe you should get someone else to help this boy.”

“There is no one else. I must help him.”

“Well, then you have your work cut out for you.”

“If I speak with him about you, and he agrees to meet you, would you agree?”

Leonard nodded. “Sure.”

“I must ask that you keep everything that we discussed to yourself. Tell no one. Not even Christine.”

“My lips are sealed.”

Spock nodded. “Very well. I have a class to get to.”

Leonard sighed. “Yeah me too.”

Spock got up and headed for class with Leonard behind him.

****

Spock stopped at the store on his way home for hot cocoa, coffee, cream, and more Kreyla, as Jim had eaten most of what he had bought the day prior. Leonard had forgotten to mention in his assessment of teenaged male humans that they never stopped eating.

When he opened the door of his apartment, he came face to face with Jim pointing the phaser at him. Dressed in Spock’s maroon sweater, that was far too big for him, he looked impossibly young, and hardly threatening at all.

“You did say you would not shoot me,” Spock said quietly.

Jim exhaled, shook his head, and lowered the phaser. Without a word, he returned it to the drawer Spock had placed it in. The drawer that now had a broken lock.

Jim took the grocery bags from Spock’s arms. He peeked inside. “Oh, Kreyla. Yum. I love that stuff.”

“I am aware.”

Jim flashed him a smile that would likely melt the hearts of all around him. Fortunately, Spock was immune to such things.

Jim held up the cocoa. “Can I have some now?”

Spock’s heart gave a little flip in spite of himself. “You do not need to ask, Jim. “

“Okay, cool.”

Jim really was young. And Spock seemed to be the only one he trusted.


	8. Outside

Spock was going over his academy schedule for the next day when Jim suddenly came to stand in front of him. Spock looked up.

Jim had his hands clenched in front of him and looked nervous. “I was wondering.”

“Yes?”

“Can we-can we go outside for a bit?”

“Outside,” Spock repeated.

“Yeah.” Jim bit his lip. “I’m kind of going a little crazy being cooped up in here all day. I thought, you know, maybe, just for a little bit.”

Spock considered. “I have a friend named Leonard McCoy. We could meet him for coffee. I would have tea.”

“A friend?”

“Yes. He goes to the academy with me. You would be safe, Jim. He can be trusted, I assure you.”

Jim didn’t respond for a long time. Just stared at Spock. And for a moment Spock was about to offer to take a walk with Jim alone and forget meeting Leonard.

Jim gave a sort of nod, and then walked away, down the hallway.

A moment later he returned wearing the turtleneck that covered his neck and the battered leather jacket. He went to the drawer in the kitchen and withdrew the phaser, which he stuffed into the pocked of the jacket.

“You do not need the phaser.”

“Actually, yeah, I do.”

“Neither Leonard nor I will harm you.”

Jim snorted. “I’m not worried about you, Spock. Or even your friend. If you say, he’s all right, well, I’ll have to believe you. But I’m not going anywhere without this.”

Spock stood from his seat on the couch and set his PADD aside. “At least make sure the setting is on stun.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jim took out the phaser, adjusted it, and then stuffed it back in his pocket.

“Let me contact Leonard to arrange the meeting.”

Jim nodded.

It took only a moment for Spock to send the message and Leonard sent his agreement only a few minutes later.

“Where did you obtain that phaser?”

“It was my dad’s.”

“George Kirk,” Spock murmured.

Jim’s eyes widened. “I didn’t tell you his name.”

“No. I did some research on your family today, Jim. I was unable to learn anything after you left Riverside. Indeed, not even which planet you left for.”

“And that’s the way it should be. I don’t want anyone discovering anything.”

“You are responsible for the limited information on your family?”

Jim smiled. “I know computers, Spock.”

“I see.” Spock went to his hall closet and obtained a coat for himself. “Shall we?”

****

Leonard was already waiting for them when they made it to the small, intimate coffee and tea shop around the corner from Spock’s apartment. Jim had insisted Spock check the hallways of his apartment building before he would leave. He’d also watched every person they’d seen on the way with extreme caution.

“Leonard, this is Jim. Jim, this is Leonard McCoy.”

“Hello, Leonard,” Jim said politely.

“Kid,” Leonard greeted him gruffly.

“Shall we go inside?” Spock suggested.

“All right, but can we sit at that corner table in the back that faces the entrance?” Jim asked, as he entered the shop. He made his way over to that table without waiting for a response. There was only one other table occupied with a young couple. Jim stared at them.

“Jim, it is not polite to stare,” Spock said quietly.

“I know that. I’m just making sure,” Jim replied. He took the seat at the table that would have his back flush up against the wall. It allowed Jim to have a view of the entire shop as well as the door.

“Do you wish coffee?” Spock asked.

“Yes, please.”

“Leonard?”

“Yeah, thanks, Spock.” Leonard sat to the left of Jim.

Spock went to the counter and ordered tea for himself and coffee for the other two. He returned quickly to the table when he realized Jim and Leonard were not even talking to each other.

Jim fixed his coffee with a lot of cream, no sugar. He now turned to Leonard. “Where do you know Spock?”

“Starfleet Academy.”

Jim nodded and sipped his coffee. “I wanted to join Starfleet.”

“You did?” Spock asked, surprised, since Jim had not mentioned that to him.

“Yeah. Wanted to be a starship captain. What about you, Leonard? Are you going to be a starship captain?”

Leonard laughed. “Nope. I’m a doctor, kid.”

Jim glanced to Spock with a narrowed gaze.

“You could still join the academy,” Leonard said.

Jim shrugged. “Maybe someday.”

Leonard eyed Jim over the rim of his coffee cup. “How do _you_ know Spock?”

“I’m sure Spock probably told you I’m staying with him,” Jim replied.

“He made references to a houseguest. No specifics though.”

Jim smiled and took a sip of his coffee but did not reply.

Spock cleared his throat. “Jim, perhaps you would allow Leonard to look at your injuries.”

“They’re healing just fine,” Jim said.

“You can trust Leonard,” Spock said.

“Can I? That remains to be seen, doesn’t it?”

Leonard just chuckled. “I like this kid.”

“Spock told you I’ve been injured, huh?”

Spock opened his mouth to reply when Jim sent him another pointed look.

“Sure, sure,” Leonard said with a wave of his hand before Spock could speak. “Just in the vaguest of terms, I assure you. He was very careful with what he told me. But he’s concerned for you and I can certainly see why.”

Jim frowned. “Yeah?”

“You’re malnourished. I can see that just from looking at you,” Leonard said. “You need a lot more food, Jim. You’re nothing but skin and bones.” Leonard looked to Spock. “He needs a lot more food. Vegetables, protein.”

“I don’t like vegetables,” Jim protested.

“Well you’d better start to learn to like them.”

Spock would have to use a lot more of his credit for food. He might have to speak with his father about obtaining more. Which would be a very awkward conversation.

   “Where’d you find this guy?” Jim asked Spock.

“As I said, we met at the academy,” Leonard said cheerfully. “Now, I have a dermal regenerator for any cuts or wounds you have. You should let me look at the bruises around your neck too. “

Jim’s eyes narrowed again. “In the vaguest of terms?”

“Well, not that vague,” Leonard admitted.

Spock stiffened. “I apologize, Jim. As Leonard said, I was concerned and sought out his advice.”

Jim bit his lip. “Okay. But…no one else, okay? Please? At least until I know what’s going on.”

“Maybe we can help you with that,” Spock suggested.

Jim shook his head. “You can’t. Not now. I’ve already involved you more than I should have, Spock. And now him, too.” Jim eyed Leonard. “Skin and bones, huh?”

Leonard shrugged. “I call them as I see them, kid.”

“Well, _Mr. Bones_ , I guess you can do the regenerator thing. If you have it with you.”

“That’s Dr. Bones to you, kid.”

Jim grinned. “How about just Bones?”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “Did I really say I liked him?”

Spock nodded and arched a brow.

****

“You are being very quiet,” Spock said as he opened the door to his apartment.

Instead of answering to that, Jim whispered, “Can you check it first?”

Spock inclined his head. “Very well. Stay here.”

Jim tried to give him the phaser but Spock refused it with a shake of his head and entered the apartment. He dutifully looked around and then gestured to Jim it was clear.

Jim stepped inside and then returned the phaser to the drawer. “I know you think I’m crazy.”

“I do not.”

“Yeah, you do. And I don’t blame you. But you don’t know.”

“I could know if you would confide in me.”

“No.”

Spock tried to hide his disappointment but he suspected he was not entirely successful. “You do not trust easily.”

Jim shrugged. “I did once.” He shrugged out of the leather jacket and slung it over the back of a chair in the living room. “Gotta get out of this sweater.”

When Jim went down the hallway to his bedroom, Spock picked up the jacket and hung it in the closet.

As he turned from the closet, Jim was coming out of his room, now wearing a tank top. The bruises were fading more each day, and it was difficult for Spock not to notice Jim’s attractiveness with all that skin exposed.

Jim smiled. “I could have done that. Sorry.”

“It is a small matter.”

“Still…I’m not a baby. I can pick up after myself. Maybe you should let me cook for you.”

Spock arched a brow. “You cook?”

“Not that well. But I can learn. You could teach me. I bet you’re a good teacher.”

“I am a simple cook.”

“I get that. You don’t like to complicate things that don’t need to be.” Jim’s gaze rose to Spock’s. “But I think…you’re actually very complicated yourself, aren’t you, Spock?”

“How so?”

The smile appeared again. The heart melting one. “For example, I think you’re fighting me.”

“Fighting you?”

“Your attraction to me. You want to be all Vulcany. All about logic. But the truth is there’s nothing logical about me. Nothing at all.”

Spock nodded. “That is certainly true.”

Jim licked his lips. “So…why don’t you just do it?”

“Do what?”

“Kiss me.” Jim’s gaze dropped to Spock’s lips. “You want to, don’t you?”

“Jim—”

Jim stepped close until Spock found he was up against the wall. He could almost feel the heat from Jim’s skin. Those intensely blue eyes rose and stared into Spock’s eyes. Spock saw need and want that might have mirrored his own, but he also saw anxiety.

Spock reached up and fanned his fingers across Jim’s jaw. Yes, Jim was swathed in anxiety, sadness, confusion, fear, hope.

“Spock,” Jim whispered.

“You are not wrong,” Spock admitted. “However, you are vulnerable and anxious. I feel your sorrow. And your distrust. I cannot take advantage of that. Of you.”

“You aren’t taking advantage,” Jim denied.

“I will not, Jim. If there is no one else you will trust, you will trust me. And I will not betray that trust. Not this way.”

With his fingers on Jim’s skin he could feel Jim’s disappointment through their contact. And more confusion. But also his anxiety lessened.

Spock could not resist tracing his thumb from Jim’s jawline to his rounded ear. But then he dropped his hand. “Are you hungry?”

Jim blinked and stepped back. “Didn’t you hear your friend? I’m always hungry.”

“Indeed. Then it is time for dinner.”


	9. A Kiss

Spock found Jim up and in the kitchen drinking coffee in the middle of the night. He didn’t seem particularly surprised when Spock appeared. At least he didn’t have the phaser out of the drawer.

“Did I wake you?” Jim asked.

“Yes,” Spock said honestly. “I am a light sleeper and any movement within my apartment disturbs me.”

“Man, I’m sorry. I really tried to be quiet.”

“You were unable to sleep?”

“I told you before I don’t really sleep much. And usually what sleep I do get is during the day.”

“Because they came at night.”

“Right.”

“Will you tell me who they are?”

Jim shook his head. “You’re persistent.”

“As is your distrust.”

Jim huffed a laugh and brought the coffee mug to his lips. “You’d be the same if you were me.”

“Perhaps. I lack the details to determine.” Spock entered the kitchen and filled a pot with water to heat for tea.

“It’s not that I don’t want to trust, Spock. It’s just…I trusted before and it was the wrong choice.”

“You were betrayed.”

“Unbelievably so.”

Spock considered. “This betrayal…it led to the deaths of your family or friends?”

“You’re very smart, Spock,” Jim said softly. But that was all he said.

“Do you wish something to eat?” Spock asked after a moment of silence.

“I had some Kreyla. You can go back to bed if you want, I promise to be quiet.”

“My rest is already disturbed.”

Jim sighed. “I guess next time I’ll just try to stay in my room then. You shouldn’t be bothered by me.”

“I am simply unused to company.”

“Which I have to say, I really don’t get.”

“Clarify.”

Jim flashed him a smile. “Come on, Spock. You have to know you’re really gorgeous. I’ve told you that myself before. I can’t be the only guy out there that thinks so. Or girl for that matter.”

“I am not particularly interested in romantic relationships,” Spock said, sounding stiff to his own ears.

“Well, okay, but what about just sex for sex’s sake?”

“Vulcans do not take casual lovers.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded. “I should have thought about that. I’ve actually studied Vulcans.”

“Indeed?”

“Before I met you. And actually more since I met you. And of course, you’re my case study.”

“I am uncertain how I feel about that,” Spock admitted.

“I don’t mean anything bad.” Jim bit his lip. “I just…I find you interesting.”

“I see.” His water was finished heating so he poured it over his tea leaves. “This is your attempt at a flirtation?”

“And I guess I’m really bad at it.” Jim groaned. “I’ve never…I don’t—oh forget it.”

“You do not have experience in these matters,” Spock supplied.

“Yeah. I mean you already know I like you, Spock. And I know you kind of like me.”

Spock inclined his head. “Is it your intention to begin taking casual lovers?”

Jim laughed at that, or perhaps more like sputtered. “Why would you ask that?”

“You spoke of sex for sex’s sake,” Spock pointed out.

“Well, I am a hot-blooded male with a healthy sex drive, Spock.” Jim shook his head. “But my life hasn’t exactly given rise to opportunities for any of that.”

A thought occurred to Spock. An unpleasant one.

“Is it your intention to experiment with me?”

“Well I…is that a bad thing?” Jim’s eyes went wide.

Spock did not reply.

“I see your face.” Jim turned away. “I can see what you’re thinking. That wasn’t it at all. Not the way you think.” Jim rubbed his eyes and then went to the sink to rinse his coffee cup. “Look I know I can’t compete with your friends like that doctor I met today. I’m just a guy from the country who ended up in a shitload of trouble.”

“You do not need to compete with Leonard or anyone else.”

Jim faced him. “No?”

“No,” Spock said softly. “I do not wish to be someone you try sex with for sex’s sake and then move on to someone else. As I said, Vulcans do not take casual lovers.”

Jim nodded. “I got that. Loud and clear. I never said that was what I was looking for.”

“That is true,” Spock acknowledged.

“And I’m still looking for that kiss.” Suddenly Jim moved into Spock’s personal space, as he had earlier in the hallway. “Come on, Spock. It’s just a kiss. Shared between two friends.”

“Friends.”

Jim smiled. “We’re friends right? Close friends. In fact, really, you’re my only friend, Spock. And I like you. A lot. You’re not really taking advantage of me with just a kiss, are you?”

Spock blinked as Jim leaned toward him. Then suddenly Jim’s smile widened and he took a step back.

“I know!”

“You know what?” Spock wondered.

Jim held out his index finger and middle finger toward Spock. “This is Vulcan, right?”

Spock’s breath stilled in his throat. “Yes.”

Jim looked at him expectantly. Spock had never touched his fingers to anyone. Not even the Vulcan female he had briefly been bonded to as children, T-Pring. Later her parents had requested the bond be broken and Spock and his family had obliged willingly.

There had never been an occasion or reason for such intimate contact otherwise. Until now. If Spock wanted to take such an action. And as he stared into Jim’s blue eyes, Spock found that he did.

He raised his hand and touched his fingertips to Jim’s. He had not known what to expect at all, but there was a soft warmth between the pads of their fingers. It was most pleasant.

Jim moved his hand until their palms were in contact too. “That’s…nice. Do you like it?”

“Yes,” Spock admitted.

“Me too.” Jim licked his lips and then dropped his hand away from Spock’s. “But if you really don’t want to go any further, I really need to make myself scarce. Good night, Spock.”

Spock closed his eyes as Jim moved away. “Good night, Jim.

****

Spock had a long day of classes so it was late afternoon by the time he stopped at the store for more Kreyla. Spock wondered if he would need to learn to bake his own at the rate Jim consumed it. And so it was nearly five when he opened his apartment door.

The apartment was still. Quiet. Too quiet.

“Jim?”

His heart suddenly beating a staccato in his side, Spock went to the kitchen drawer. The phaser was gone. A sense of dread had him fighting for his Vulcan control.

“Jim?” he called again, aware he would have no answer.

He went to Jim’s room. All of Jim’s belongings were still there. Nothing was gone.

Except the phaser.

And…Jim


	10. Leonard's Advice

Spock was not the panicking kind.

Though he was tempted to meditate to get himself under more control, he was well aware there was no time for that. He contacted Leonard for assistance via a message through his PADD and then he did spend ten minutes doing a short intense meditation but that was not his preference.

Spock thought it possible Jim had merely tired of being inside and had gone for a walk. Jim might not think to leave some sort of note with Spock.

There was a knock at his door and when he opened it Leonard was there.

“Thank you for coming so quickly.”

“You seemed pretty frantic,” Leonard said. He smiled crookedly. “Vulcan frantic that is.”

“Given Jim’s insistence that he is in danger, I do have some concerns.”

“Well, he certainly didn’t invent those injuries. Where do you wanna look?”

Spock admitted, “I really have no idea where to look, but the general neighborhood around the apartment would be the logical area to begin.”

Leonard nodded. “Let’s go then. Does he have a key to this place should he return while we are out looking for him?”

“He does not, however, he appears to be acquainted with the skill of lock picking.”

Leonard gave Spock a look and shook his head. “What exactly have you gotten yourself into, Spock?”

“I am uncertain,” Spock replied.

The evening was turning cold, so Spock pulled on a coat and scarf. Leonard wore a light jacket he called a ‘windbreaker’. As far as Spock could tell Jim had nothing with him since he’d left even the battered leather coat behind.

Once they were outside the building, Spock pulled his scarf closer around his neck as the wind had begun to pick up.

“Do you think they—whoever they are—found him?” Leonard asked as they headed to the right of the apartment building. Spock thought it best they stick together rather than separate.

“It is unlikely. Unless they followed him from Riverside at the time of our departure I am unaware how they would discover his current whereabouts.”

Leonard eyed him. “Is that possible?”

“Anything is possible, Leonard, even if unlikely. I do not believe we were followed, however.“

“Isn’t it possible he just wants to leave, Spock?”

That had, of course, occurred to Spock, but Spock also believed that Jim would take at least the coat he’d arrived in with him.

Still he could not dismiss the idea entirely.

“The possibility exists, however remote.”

“Well, from what you have told me and my own assessment of Jim, I’d say something made him run scared. "

Spock nodded. “Agreed, though I cannot speculate what.”

“So, he’s probably hiding somewhere. A store, an alley. Let’s start with the alleys, it’ll be dark soon and he’ll be harder to find.”

Forty minutes later and they’d searched six alleys to the right of Spock’s apartment building without success and Spock was growing more concerned and frustrated. There’d been no signs of Jim, and they’d stopped in a few shops on their way back toward Spock’s building. Nothing.

They headed in the other direction this time, and by the time they’d reached the third alley in that direction, it had grown dark and frigidly cold.

“I don’t know, Spock. I don’t think we’re going to find him out here,” Leonard said. “Either he’s gone back to your apartment or he’s gone for good.”

Spock found the latter prospect particularly disheartening. He was not yet ready to concede defeat. “Just a little longer, Leonard.”

Leonard shook his head. “You’re really hung up on this kid, aren’t you?”

“I am merely concerned for a friend.”

“Uh-huh.” Leonard smirked. “Look, I’m not judging you. You can be into whoever you like.”

“Can we continue to look for Jim please?” Spock asked coolly.

They found another alley, this one very dark and vaguely ominous. Spock hoped Jim had not chosen to hide down this one. He was starting to turn away when he heard the faint sound of a whimper.

Spock stopped Leonard as he made to turn from the alley. He inclined his head in the direction of the whimper, which came from the other side of a very disgusting looking trash receptacle.

Leonard was closest so he moved around the trash and immediately crouched down by a wide eyed Jim.

“Hey, kid. Remember me?” he asked softly.

“Stay away from me,” Jim said, trying to scoot away. His eyes were wide with fright. “You’re with them. Stay away.”

“Easy, kid. Take it easy.” Leonard stood and turned to Spock. “He’s not going to let me help him. He looks strung out or something. I’m not sure what.” He took out a hypospray and handed it to Spock, who stared down at it. “You have to tranquilize him, Spock. Either that or nerve pinch him. He trusts you.”

“He trusts me because I do not nerve pinch him.”

Leonard nodded. “Maybe. But if you want to help him, you want to get him back to your place, he needs to come with us.”

Spock exhaled and walked over to Jim, crouching down beside him. “Jim, it is me.”

“Spock?” Jim whispered.

“Yes. What is wrong, Jim? What has happened?”

“So many. So many.”

“So many what?”

Jim’s gaze flitted away, across the alley. “Dead. So many dead.”

“They killed them?”

“They. Him. And now more.”

“More?”

Jim nodded. “They found.”

Spock did not understand any of Jim’s ramblings. Jim was shaking uncontrollably and was so distressed Spock was concerned for Jim’s physical state. He moved closer to Jim and injected the hypospray Leonard had given him into Jim’s neck. Jim collapsed instantly.

“Good,” Leonard declared. “Pick him up and let’s go. Hurry. I don’t like it around here.”

Spock could not help but agree. He picked Jim up in his arms and carried him out of the alley.

****

“Okay, well, he’s stabilized,” Leonard announced, coming out of Jim’s bedroom. “But he needs sleep desperately. He’s sleep deprived as well as malnourished. I’ve given him some shots of vitamins and something that will ensure he will sleep through the night at least. That episode? My guess is some sort of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder incident. Triggered by God only knows. “

Spock nodded. “Thank you, Leonard.”

“Spock, I know you aren’t going to listen to me, but I have to say this anyway. I don’t know what this kid’s deal is. And you don’t either. Having him here could be dangerous. He’s obviously running from something. Or thinks he is anyway. And either that’s real and they’ll come after him or he’s a nut and he’ll come after you. Either way, I don’t like this. I don’t like you keeping him here like this. In my opinion, you should get in touch with the authorities and let them deal with him and his situation. Get yourself out of it.”

“I appreciate your concern, Leonard.”

Leonard sighed. “But you’re going to ignore everything I just said, aren’t you?”

“I am afraid I must.”

“Why is that?”

“I am the one who must help him.”

“For God’s sake, why?” Leonard demanded.

“I do not know,” Spock admitted. “I just know I am the one for the task.”

“Be careful,” Leonard warned.

“I always am.” Spock walked Leonard to his front door and let him out of the apartment. He threw all the locks across the door. He needed tea, food, and meditation. But first he needed to look in on Jim.

Jim was lying on his side, his eyes closed, looking peaceful in his sleep. A peacefulness Jim never had when he was awake. Spock rested his fingertips on Jim’s forehead. They tingled with a warmth Spock did not understand, but it was welcome.


	11. Awakening

Leonard had been right. Jim slept through the night.

Spock knew because once he had eaten a meal, he had returned to Jim’s room with his tea to watch over the young man. Jim had been sound asleep so Spock had been able to take advantage of that to meditate. Afterward, Spock had fallen asleep in the chair in the room.

He’d awakened at dawn, took a very quick shower, dressed, and returned to watch over Jim. Whatever Leonard had given Jim in the hypo had been potent, however, for Jim hadn’t stirred during Spock’s absence at all.

Spock brought his PADD with him and sent messages to his professors advising he would be missing classes that day. He had already completed all assignments well in advance, and though normally he would attend classes anyway, he did not wish to leave Jim alone. He wanted to be there when Jim woke, yes, but also Spock was concerned Jim would flee the apartment again and Spock would not know where to find him.

A very unacceptable prospect.

After another cup of tea, Spock decided to write to his father for advice regarding Jim. He’d considered writing his mother, however, Spock suspected she would attach far too much emotional content to her response. Cooler heads needed to prevail.

_Father,_

_I have recently acquired a most curious guest, a young human male, at my apartment. He has been through significant trauma of a nature I am unsure of, as he is reluctant to speak of the events. However, the reason for my inquiry today is the most curious reaction I have to this human male. I am drawn to him in a way I have never experienced—and certainly there is some physical response in this— but also I am drawn mentally and most odd of all, emotionally, to him. I am protective as well as possessive of him. When we have skin contact there is a soothing warmth I do not experience with contact with anyone else. It is almost as though he is bonded with me, however, obviously no such bonding has ever taken place._

_Any thoughts on this situation with my guest would be appreciated._

_Spock._

He sent the message and then set the PADD down on a nearby table. He stepped over to Jim’s side, gazing down at him as he slept. Spock rubbed his knuckles gently over Jim’s cheek, feeling that same comforting warmth.

Spock’s gaze went to the older PADD he’d given up in favor of his current one. Jim had apparently been using it while Spock was away and it currently sat on the small end table next to Jim’s bed. Spock found himself tempted to find out what exactly Jim had been doing on it other than reconfiguring his chess program. Perhaps the PADD would even have the answer to why Jim had left the day before. For that matter, it would be easy enough for Spock to touch Jim’s mind while he slept and learn Jim’s secrets.

Spock would do none of that, of course. He would never violate Jim’s or anyone’s privacy. It was not done. Not by Vulcans and not by Spock. But that did not mean he was not tempted. Spock was endlessly curious, and most especially by the enigma that was Jim, but he would resist the temptation nevertheless.

He was about to step away when Jim’s lashes fluttered. Illogically, Spock found his breath stilling and his heart beating faster. The lashes lifted slowly. Spock caught a glimpse of intense blue, before the lashes lowered again, and then lifted to reveal those most beautiful eyes.

“Spock?” Jim’s voice was soft, a whisper, but it was hoarse, rough with sleep.

“Yes, Jim.”

“Where—?”

“You are safe. You are in your room in my apartment.”

Jim blinked rapidly. “You hyposprayed me, didn’t you?”

“We did not think you would come with us otherwise.”

“We?”

“Leonard McCoy and me.”

Jim’s breath shuddered out and he struggled to sit up. Spock assisted him. “I guess you probably meant well, but don’t do that again.”

“Clarify.”

“The hypo. They used hyposprays to subdue us.” Jim rubbed at his neck. “Not to mention my skin always gets itchy. I have a lot of allergies.”

“I apologize. I was concerned. You left without word.”

Jim licked his lips. “Yeah. I’m hungry. Can we eat?”

“Yes, I picked up more Kreyla yesterday,” Spock replied.

Jim didn’t smile like he generally did when Spock mentioned his favorite bread. But he did get out of bed. He swayed a little on his feet and Spock reached out to steady him with his hands on Jim’s biceps.

“Sorry,” Jim said softly.

“There is no need,” Spock murmured. “How are you feeling?”

“A little lightheaded.”

“No doubt because you need to eat.” Spock released his grip on Jim’s arms, but he took Jim’s hand in his. “I will help you.”

Jim looked down at their entwined hands. “Do you feel that?”

“Explain.”

Jim’s gaze rose to meet Spock’s. “Whenever we touch…when you touch me… it’s warm. I mean like extra warm.”

Spock swallowed. “Yes.”

“What is that? Is that a Vulcan thing?”

“I suspect, maybe. Come.” Spock drew Jim out of the bedroom and out to the kitchen. He gently pushed Jim down to sit at the dining table. “Would you like coffee?”

“Please.”

Spock made himself busy making Jim coffee and warming up the Kreyla, as he had already learned Jim preferred it warm. “Will you explain about yesterday?”

“What time is it anyway? Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“It is nearly ten, yes, but I chose to skip my classes today, and you are deflecting.”

Jim nodded. “Okay. I got bad news yesterday.”

“Bad news?” Spock placed the coffee mug in front of Jim along with the container of half and half.

Jim fixed his coffee and then held the mug in his hands as though to warm himself. “There are others like me.”

“In what way?”

“They’re after them too.”

Spock nodded. “I see.” He took the warmed Kreyla to Jim, who immediately began to devour it. “Please continue.”

“They-they got one of us.”

“What does that mean, Jim?”

Jim’s hands trembled. “They got him. He’s dead.”

“One of those like you?” Spock asked, with a calmness he did not feel.

Jim closed his eyes. “Yes. He’s dead.” A tear fell from Jim’s eye and fell upon his cheek.

Spock knelt in front of Jim and took his hands in his. “I will not let that happen to you.”

Jim opened his eyes and stared at Spock with haunted eyes. “Do you promise?”

“Yes,” Spock vowed. “With my life.”  


	12. The Importance of Being

 

  
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Jim’s blue eyes turned stormy, cold like an ice storm. “I don’t want it to cost your life, Spock. Never that. There’s been far too much death. I don’t want you added to the count.”

“I do not believe it will come to that.”

“You shouldn’t be involved. I shouldn’t have involved you.”

“I am involved now,” Spock said reasonably. “I cannot become uninvolved.”

Jim swallowed heavily. “Maybe you can.”

Spock shook his head. “No. That is impossible now. I will not allow you to face this alone. Whatever it is.”

“You’re really something. How did I get so lucky meeting you on that shuttle?”

Spock did not believe in fate. There was nothing logical in such fantasies, however, he could also not deny what was between himself and Jim. It was anything but ordinary.

“You should continue to eat,” Spock said, not giving voice to the thoughts in his head. He made to stand but Jim reached to retain hold of Spock’s hand.

“Wait.”

“Yes, Jim?”

“Can you—can I—” Jim’s gaze slid away from Spock, until he was looking at the floor beside Spock. “Nothing.”

“If there is something you need, you have only to ask,” Spock assured him.

“It’s-it’s stupid.”

“Jim,” Spock said softly. “What is it?”

“I just…sometimes humans need a-a hug and…” He trailed off, his voice faltering.

Spock suddenly knew what heartache felt like. He actually felt his heart squeeze in his side. Such a simple thing Jim requested and yet it was difficult for him to do so. Vulcans did not hug. At least in Spock’s experience. It was not something that generally offered them comfort. And in fact, Spock did not recall even being hugged by his mother, though there had been times when he was a child he had sensed she wanted to do so.

Jim was looking away again and he had dropped Spock’s hand. “You don’t have to.”

Oh, but he did. Very much have to.

Spock rose on his knees enough so that he was almost at the height of Jim sitting in the chair. He leaned forward and put his arms around Jim’s upper back and drew him close, wrapping his arms tight. Jim let out a shuddery breath and then his arms came around Spock, like he was desperately clinging to Spock and once more Spock felt physical pain in his heart.

He did not know how it came to be that this young man had become so important to Spock in such a short time, but Spock was not certain he could ever watch Jim walk away from him.

Spock closed his eyes and moved one of his hands up just enough so that his fingers lightly touched the warm skin at the base of the nape of Jim’s neck.

He was suddenly hit with seemingly dozens of images, so many he could make little sense of most of them, but he saw many deaths, Jim crying, being chased, and Jim screaming over his brother, Sam. They hit Spock hard, nearly knocking the wind from him, and he found himself clutching Jim tighter still. He strengthened his shields, trying to block all the horrific memories he was getting from Jim.

Why was everything so strong, so vivid? Spock had not been trying to see anything, they had just come rushing at him.

As though…oh.

_Oh_.

Spock’s lungs seized. He had never expected this. And yet knowing all that he knew since meeting Jim, it now made logical sense.  

Protecting Jim had now become even more important to Spock.

For Jim was his t’hy’la.

He had heard of the ancient Vulcan bond. It had not been experienced to his knowledge for at least a hundred years. Yet even without a response from his father, Spock now knew. Holding Jim like this stirred many things within Spock. Protection, yes, but also a need for his mate. And an overwhelming desire to take care of Jim. Whoever had hurt Jim, who even now wished to hurt him, would have Spock to answer to.

Spock gently eased away so that he could look at Jim. He had not entirely released him, but he’d put distance between them. “You need to eat more.”

Jim nodded. “Okay.”

Spock stood and sat in the chair next to Jim with his tea. He would have to tread carefully with Jim. He did not think it wise to just blurt out their connection. Not when Jim did not even fully trust him. Jim also did not act as though he knew Spock had unintentionally seen some of his memories. He would need to ask his father about all of this. Perhaps he would be better speaking to his father directly through his terminal about matters with Jim.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jim asked.

“No, Jim. I am just considering many things.”

Jim bit his lip. “I’m sorry I just left yesterday.”

“Were you frightened?”

“Just…it was so overwhelming.”

“Did you know the one they killed?”

“Yes.”

“A friend?”

“Sort of.”

Spock asked carefully, “A boyfriend?”

Jim smiled at that and shook his head. “No. He was younger than me. Kind of followed me around. I tried to look out for him.” His smile faded. “We got separated when they moved his family. I didn’t know what happened until I saw yesterday they found him.”

“Where did you hear about his fate?”

“I keep track of everyone,” Jim said vaguely. “I don’t necessarily know where they are but I know of them and that they are hiding like me.”

“And you are certain they killed him?”

“Yes,” Jim whispered.

Spock could not resist reaching over for Jim’s hand and he was gratified when Jim accepted the contact immediately. Spock rested his palm against Jim’s. It calmed the turmoil within Spock.

“How many are left including you?”

“Nine—eight. Eight now.”

“I am gratified you trust me enough to reveal some information, ashaya.”

Jim’s startled blue eyes met Spock’s gaze. He licked his lips. “That’s an endearment, isn’t it?”

“I see your studies of the Vulcan languages are progressing. And yes, it is.”

“Oh.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Spock wondered.

“No, I—no.” Jim shook his head. He smiled a bit.

Spock inclined his head. “More coffee?”

“Please. And more Kreyla.”


	13. T'hy'la

Jim had been taught that it was wrong to eavesdrop. Both by his parents and by circumstances.

But his parents…they were gone. They could not advise him now even if they wanted to or if he wanted them to. And while circumstances were not always ideal—and in fact caused a great deal of trouble sometimes— Jim had also learned valuable information listening in on things he was never supposed to know. 

And so he told himself that listening in on Spock’s conversation with his father could provide him with such valuable information.

The thing of it was, it had not been Jim’s fault he had been genetically altered when he was younger and had been provided better than average hearing. It wasn’t as though he could turn off his superior hearing. Those that were after him certainly knew that.

Jim knew he could put in earphones on the PADD he was using and at least give the appearance he could not hear Spock’s conversation, but even with other noise in his ears, Jim would have been able to make out most of the conversation. And the thing was, he was in his room trying to mind his own business. Kind of. He could have told Spock he could hear every little sound in the apartment—it was a small apartment after all—but he hadn’t. He’d been keeping a lot of things from Spock. Jim felt a little guilty about that. But…self-preservation and all that.

And there was his own name mentioned.

_Father._

_Greetings, Spock. I trust your studies are going well._

_Yes._

_I would hope so. I still do not understand your desire to rebel against your Vulcan heritage._

_I do not seek to rebel. Starfleet and the Vulcan Science Academy both had worthy programs._

There was a lengthy moment of silence and Jim wondered if the transmission had been disconnected.

_You received the message I sent you._

_About your human male guest._

_Jim._

Jim tilted his head at the mention of himself. The voices became clearer still. It was as though they were standing in the same room with him.

_I have come to some further conclusions since my last correspondence with you._

_Oh?_

_I believe Jim is my t’hy’la._

_I have reviewed your experiences with him and while they are curious, I am not certain they mean that the human is your t’hy’la._

Another long pause. Jim had not heard that particular Vulcan word in his studies, though he intended to look it up when he was able to do so.

_I touched his mind._

Jim inhaled sharply. His stomach clenched.

_You have melded with him?_

_No. When we had…contact. His mind opened to me unknowingly, seeking mine out and my mind accepted it. It was unintentional._

_You formed a bond?_

_I am uncertain if it fully formed but I recognized it. I recognized him._

_You have advised him of this?_

_Negative. I do not believe he is ready to learn of this._

“Too late, buddy,” Jim murmured.

_You will need to come to Vulcan before the priestess. She will examine your minds and any link that may exist._

_We are unable to do so at present._

_Of course, your studies. And the trauma he has faced. But when you are able._

_Yes, Father._

_Your mother will be pleased._

_She is illogical._

_Yes. Live long and proper, Spock._

_Peace and long life._

Jim looked up the word t’hy’la. As he read about it, it suddenly felt like his heart was burning in his chest.

Only a moment later there was a soft knock on Jim’s door.

“Enter.”

Spock opened the door. “Jim, would you like something to eat?”

“Sure, yeah. But, uh, let’s go somewhere, all right?”

“You are willing to go out?”

“If we don’t go far, we should be okay. Right?” Jim got off the bed and walked over to the doorway where Spock stood.  For a minute, Jim just stared. Spock was everything a guy like Jim could ever want. More really. He was kind and brave. Unbelievably gorgeous. Sometimes the world really fucked with Jim. He forced a smile. “Okay?”

Spock nodded. “If you wish. I will get my coat.”

When Spock moved away toward his bedroom, Jim grabbed the PADD, his leather coat and scarf and went to the kitchen drawer for the phaser. He tucked the PADD into his coat and the phaser into the waistband of his jeans.

Spock came out all bundled up in a heavy coat, wearing a beanie over his pointy ears. “It is cold out.”

Jim smiled. Spock looked adorable. But then…Jim had a thing for Spock. And they’d done the Vulcan kissing, yeah. Nice. Really nice. He wanted a human kiss. Wanted those kissable lips on his. This one time. He grabbed the collar of Spock’s coat and drew Spock to him before the Vulcan had a chance to protest about taking advantage.

“Jim—”

He crushed his lips to Spock. Jim had absolutely no experience in kissing anyone, but he’d seen enough of it to know how it was supposed to be done. Spock’s lips were stiff, unyielding at first, and Jim felt like he was kissing a cold statue of marble or something. But then Spock made a soft, sort of pleading noise that went straight to Jim’s groin in a way that made him gasp. Their mouths opened over each other’s and then Spock’s tongue stroked over Jim’s. He moaned against Spock’s lips, which were now soft and warm and so fucking kissable Jim wanted to kiss them forever.

But all too soon Spock pulled away, his cheeks faintly green while he stared wide-eyed at Jim.  

Forcing steel into his spine from some strength Jim didn’t even know he had, Jim curled his fingers around the back of Spock’s neck. “Hey, Spock?”

Spock blinked. “Yes?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry?”

Jim pulled the phaser out of his jeans and fired it at Spock. The Vulcan crumbled to the ground. Jim bit his lip. “I’m so sorry.” He knelt beside Spock, checking to make sure Spock was only stunned and would be all right. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “But if we’re really what you think we are…that Vulcan word…well, it sounds like soulmates or something. And I can’t let them get to you. It would kill me if you got hurt, too. I can’t allow that. Not because of me. You have to be safe.”

Jim stood and went into the kitchen for the Kreyla that was left. And the cocoa. When he felt the threat of tears stinging his eyes, he forced them away with sheer willpower.

Then he walked to the door and opened it.

“Live long and prosper, Spock.”


	14. Wet

 

Of course it had to rain, Jim thought as he tried his best to huddle into the battered, stolen leather jacket, both for warmth and anonymity. He had a feeling he failed in both as he slinked down the streets of San Francisco, farther and farther away from Spock and the temporary sanctity of the apartment.

Why did Spock have to be so…great…anyway? Jim wasn’t supposed to fall in love with his Vulcan protector.

Jim had seen the Vulcan at the Riverside shipyard. He’d kept his distance so Spock would not notice him. Something had pulled him toward Spock. Now Jim guessed it was probably that t’hy’la word Spock had used, but at the time Jim thought maybe Spock was the answer to a prayer. Not that Jim believed in any kind of praying. Those days were long gone.

He had followed Spock to the shuttle, managed to slip on, really, without even paying. They didn’t pay much attention to that sort of thing in Riverside, fortunately for him. And Spock had apparently been drawn to Jim, too. He’d wanted that at the time. He needed help and a big badass Vulcan fit that bill perfectly.

But then…God, Spock. He was everything Jim could ever have wanted, if he could ever have anyone. Circumstances being what they were now, though, that wasn’t likely to be the case. And he could not continue to endanger Spock. Jim had already lost too many.

Jim’s plan was to contact the underground of those that had altered his genetics. It wouldn’t be easy and they might not even be willing to help him, but he had to do something. Only eight like him left. At least last time Jim had checked. He hoped that number hadn’t gone lower.

How had they gotten to Kevin O’Riley? How had they known where to find the young boy?

He’d gone a couple of miles when he heard the distinct sound of someone following him. They were trying to be discreet, following at a significance distance, but Jim heard every step and every labored breath they made. He suspected their plan was just robbery or mayhem. He was walking in the rain, at night, young, and clearly alone. An easy mark.

_They_  hadn’t found him. Not yet anyway.   

Jim slowed his pace so that they could get closer and then he slipped into a space between two buildings, almost seamlessly. The footsteps quickened. Jim waited until they were just outside his hiding space and then—

“Jesus, Bones!” Jim exclaimed, releasing his hold on the man’s neck. “I was about to crush your windpipe. Fuck.”

Bones—Spock’s friend, Leonard McCoy—gasped in a huge breath. He was bent over and wheezing, clutching his throat.

“What the hell are you doing, following me?” Jim demanded furiously. He grabbed Bones’ arm and dragged him into the open door of a coffee shop.

“Breathe,” Bones said, shaking his head, still panting.

Jim watched him trying to catch his breath. “Okay. Sorry about that. I sometimes don’t know my own strength.

Bones bugged his eyes at him. “Are you sure you’re—you’re just a kid?”

“Yeah. Why were you following me?”

Bones rubbed his throat. “I was on my way to see Spock. To be honest I thought there was something strange about the exam I did on you and I wanted to see what was up. I saw you leaving and decided to see what you were up to. What have you done to Spock? He didn’t answer his communicator.”

Jim bit his lip. “Well I…he’s all right. Just, um, stunned.”

“You have a lot to answer for, kid.”

“No offense, doc, but I’m not sticking around to offer any answers. I gotta go.”

“So just like that you stun Spock and say see you?”

“It’s for the best.”

Bones nodded. “Of that I have no doubt. But see, like it or not, Spock likes you. A lot.”

“That’s why I have to take off,” Jim insisted.

“Like a lot…a lot.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You know what it means, kid. You may be young, but I have a feeling you have some kind of super brain.” Bones sighed. “Vulcans don’t feel deeply. Or at least they don’t show it. Not easily. I bet he has with you, hasn’t he?”

Jim remembered their Vulcan kiss and the dazed look in Spock’s eyes after Jim human kissed him. “I can’t help that,” he whispered.

“Sure,” Bones said with a shake of his head. “Fine, go ahead and leave. Just take off.”

“You have no idea what’s going on.”

“Try me.”

Jim turned away. “I-I can’t. Everyone ends up dead.”

“Everyone dies, Jim. Some deaths are worse than others, I’ll give you that.” Bones touched his arm. “I know you’ve been through something. Probably way more than anyone should at your age. But my guess is you need a friend. You’ll never find a better friend than Spock.”

“Bones, if they hurt him because of me—”

“They will not.”

Jim turned around quickly at the sound of Spock’s voice. His stomach plummeted. “How did you—”

“I followed the signal of Leonard’s communicator.”

Jim stared at Bones. “You tricked me!”

“Sort of. Spock was worried and everything else I told you was true. We’re trying to help you, Jim. I promise you that.”

“Jim?”

Jim glanced back at Spock. “Yeah?”

“I am sorry, ashaya.”

“Wait, what? No, Spock—”

****

“Admit it, you got some satisfaction from that nerve pinch,” Leonard said, as he followed Spock into his apartment.

Spock carried a drenched and unconscious Jim.

“I will admit no such thing.”

“Ha. After he stunned you, I bet you did.”

“It was a surprising move on his part. I underestimated him. I will not do so again.”

“We both did. He nearly killed me. He has amazing strength for one so young.”

“He will not be pleased with me when he wakes,” Spock said softly.

“We can still turn him over to the authorities.”

“Never. He belongs with me.”

“Does insanity run in your family?”

“Negative.” Spock carried Jim down the hallway, but he passed Jim’s room and went directly to his own. He pulled off the wet scarf and leather jacket and handed those as well as the phaser to Leonard. “Take care of these, please.”

“Spock—”

“He is my t’hy’la, Leonard. My mate,” Spock explained softly.

“Ah, hell.” Leonard ran a hand across his hair. “Listen, Spock, there’s something different about Jim. The readings I did from the other day? They’re not normal for humans. Not completely anyway. Everything’s…supercharged.”

Spock nodded, laid Jim on the bed, and began to remove his wet clothing. “I do not know what he has been through, but I have seen some of it with my own mind through our connection. I can see why he is frightened. He is not safe here.”

“In your apartment?”

“Here, yes,” Spock agreed. “He is not safe on Earth.”

Leonard shifted. “What do you propose?”

“I do not know at present,” Spock admitted. He glanced at Leonard. “Will you give me a moment alone with him?”

“Huh?”

Spock inclined his head toward Jim’s underpants, which he intended to remove next, as they too were wet.

“I am a doctor, Spock. I’ve seen nude bodies before.”

“And I would rather that no one see my t’hy’la naked.”

Leonard sighed. “Fine. Where do you want this phaser?”

“The kitchen drawer is acceptable.”

Spock waited until Leonard left his bedroom and closed the door, before he peeled off the damp boxer briefs. All of the wet clothes would need to be washed and dried, so he set them aside and then went to his own closet for a sleeping robe for Jim.

A few minutes later, he had Jim dressed in the robe and under the covers of Spock’s bed. He brushed Jim’s damp hair off his forehead.

“I will not let my guard down so easily next time, ashaya,” he told his unconscious mate. “I hope you will trust me with your secrets soon. But even if you do not, I will find a way to keep you safe.”


	15. Opening Up

“You sure you don’t want me to stick around?” Leonard asked Spock after they had finished having coffee for Leonard and tea for Spock.

“I can handle Jim,” Spock assured him.

“No offense, Spock, but the kid has already stunned you and he’s really damn strong.”

Spock arched a brow. “I can handle him.”

“All right. Suit yourself.” Leonard rose and walked to Spock’s apartment door. “I’ll check with you later, if you don’t mind.”

“That would be agreeable. “

Spock locked the door after Leonard and then went to the kitchen drawer to remove Jim’s phaser. After hiding it, he went into his own room where he had left Jim resting. Jim had not regained consciousness. Spock stroked his fingers across Jim’s forehead and then he pulled out his PADD to relay a message to his father.

“Due to concerns for Jim’s safety in our current location, I propose to bring him to Vulcan. I will take a temporary leave from Starfleet Academy. It is unfortunate, but necessary. I will contact you when we are ready to depart.”

Spock sent the message and as he put aside his PADD, Jim finally began to stir. Spock sat on the edge of the bed and waited.

“Spock?” Jim whispered as his eyes fluttered open.

“Yes, Jim.”

Blue eyes focused on him. “How did I…wait. Did you nerve pinch me?”

“It was necessary. I surmised you would not be cooperative in returning to the apartment.”

“Oh my God.”

“You are displeased.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Perhaps as displeased as I was after learning I had been stunned by a phaser.”

Jim’s eyes widened and he closed his open mouth. “I…I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“I suffered no lingering effects.” Spock reached for Jim’s hand and touched his palm to Jim’s. “And you? You are not experiencing discomfort?”

“No. Spock, I just wanted—”

“I am aware of your concern for my welfare, ashaya. I share that concern for yours. It is my belief that together we can face whatever you fear.”

“Because we are this t’hy’la word.”

“It is not merely a word, Jim. Our bonds are important to Vulcans. It is a connection non-Vulcans can never really understand.”

Jim nodded solemnly. “Then why would you have this bond with me?”

“I am uncertain as this is the rarest of bonds of our people.”

“And you are sure that’s what we have?”

Spock slid his palm over Jim’s, the warmth between them was nearly hot. “You have felt it yourself. We are drawn together. To be friend, brother –”

“Lover,” Jim said softly.

“Jim.”

Jim smiled. “I’m not forgetting that one. But you are right. I was drawn to you. When I saw you in Riverside. I got on the shuttle then because-because I saw you. Somehow I knew you could help me.”

“Then may I suggest you do not attempt to leave again.”

Jim bit his lip. “I just don’t want them to hurt you because of me.”

“It is my intention for us to go to Vulcan,” Spock told him.

“Vulcan? What?”

Spock felt Jim’s panic through their contact. “Ashaya, I assure you that you will be safe there.”

“But-but there are Vulcans there.”

Spock arched a brow. “Indeed. I am a Vulcan.”

“Yes, but you’re different. They’ll judge me and find me lacking.”

“They will not. You have already been learning Vulcan. You will stay with my parents and my mother is human like you. Whoever is after you will never find you there, Jim. It should ease your distress not accelerate it.”

“Okay, okay.” Jim nodded. He inhaled deeply. “Okay.”

Concerned, Spock pulled Jim close and wrapped his arms around the younger boy. Jim immediately clung to Spock. 

“It will be all right, I promise you,” Spock said in an effort to sooth his mate.  “Perhaps it is time to tell me what has happened to you, t’hy’la.”

Jim let out a long breath, but he nodded against Spock. “Will you lay down with me and hold me while I do?”

“If this is what you desire, yes,” Spock agreed. He lay on his back on the bed and drew Jim close so that Jim’s head rested upon Spock’s chest. “Is this acceptable?”

“Yes,” Jim whispered. “More than acceptable.”

“If you prefer, we can do a meld.”

Jim shook his head. “Maybe another time.”

“Very well.”

“To begin with there were ten of us.”

“Ten?”

“Children they chose to be…enhanced. “

“On Earth?” Spock prompted when Jim seemed hesitant to continue.

“No, on Tarsus IV. My family had gone to live there. It was a beautiful planet. Dad had gotten a job there. And at first everything was great. But then they started testing us in school. They chose ten of us who were going through puberty.” Jim trembled a little and Spock drew him closer still, his hand stroking Jim’s back. “They took us away from our families.”

“By force?” Spock asked sharply.

“My family was strongly encouraged to cooperate. We were separated for months that turned into a year and then more, while they did surgeries, injected us, and made us drink concoctions they made. We became stronger, our eyesight became better. Our hearing too.”

“What purpose?”

“To create a super race,” Jim said softly. “When they finished with our enhancements, they sent us back to our families intending to see how we would do interacting with ordinary people. Before they did any more experiments on citizens they wanted to see if any of us rejected what they’d done. After a while they determined it was successful and they intended to make more of us but then the famine came.”

“The famine?”

“Yes. That changed everything. People were starving. Rioting. And then the executions began. They wanted to get us back, the ten of us, but dad decided we’d go into hiding. He didn’t want them to get me back.”

Spock nodded. “What happened?”

“Someone we trusted betrayed us. Revealed where we were hiding. Mom and Dad were killed first. And then later when they wanted to take me from the location they’d moved us to, Sam stopped them. But they killed him anyway. They eventually got all nine of us back.”

“You said before there were ten.”

“The tenth one was the one who betrayed us. We were brought before Kodos. He was going to save us and half the population he deemed worthy and execute everyone else.”   

“What happened?”

“Eventually supplies arrived from the Federation, but it was too late. Too many had already died. Kodos took all of us along with his closest allies and attempted to escape. There was one man from his enhancement team that double-crossed him and got the nine of us out. He sacrificed a lot to get us out.”

“He was killed?”

“Severely injured in an explosion on the ship we escaped in. It crashed in the desert. He was taken away by friends of his.”

“And your were left to fend for yourselves?”

“Yes.

“So it is this Kodos and his allies that are after you?”

“Yes. He is still an outlaw with the Federation. They have sealed most of the files concerning what went on there on Tarsus IV. Kodos needs to tie up loose ends.” Jim looked up at Spock. “I’m a loose end. So far he has already killed one of us.”

Spock met his gaze. “You will be safe on Vulcan.”

“Yeah?”

“I swear with my life. He will not find you. I will find him.”


	16. Exploration

Spock woke to soft whimpers coming from Jim. He appeared to be experiencing an unpleasant dream. He reached out and gently laid his fingers on Jim’s face.

His dream—nightmare—was beyond merely unpleasant. Spock caught flashes of murder, torture, unspeakable things. He drew Jim’s mind out of the dream, turning it away from such mayhem and violence.

Slowly Jim’s eyes opened. “Mmm.”

Spock stroked his thumb across Jim’s cheek. “You were having a bad dream.”

“Uh-huh.” Jim let out a shaky breath. “You woke me?”

“Yes. I could not allow you to experience such distress.” Spock swallowed. “You experienced that which you dreamt?”

“Mostly, yes. Either first hand or I witnessed it.”

“You are far too young to experience such atrocities.”

“We were all young,” Jim said softly. “My memories? Most of them are that unpleasant.”

“I wish that I could take them all away,” Spock said.

“Maybe you could give me some good ones instead.” Jim turned his face until Spock’s thumb grazed over Jim’s lips. Jim’s tongue darted out to flick against the pad.

Spock could not control the shiver that raked through him. “Jim.” He tried to admonish the younger boy but it came out more like a moan.

“Please?”

“We should not.” There was no point in pretending he did not know what Jim proposed.

“Why not? We’re t’hy’la, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then we will anyway soon enough won’t we?” Jim sounded so young and vulnerable. “You like me, don’t you?”

Like did not even begin to cover the emotion Spock felt for Jim. How this young human had wrapped Spock around him so completely in such a short time, Spock could not say.

“Yes, Jim, I like you.”

Jim blew out a breath. “Good, cause I really like you, too. That’s pretty convenient, huh? Since we’re t’hy’la and all.”

Spock found himself wanting to smile, though he did not give into it. “I am surprised you are so accepting of our bond. Most humans would be leery.”

“Oh, I am,” Jim admitted. “But it’s not like I’ve never had someone screw around with my head before.”

Spock’s heart clenched, and the urge to smile disappeared. “I would never harm your mind, Jim.”

“I know. I just mean it’s not something I’m unused to.”

“You should not have had to get used to their abuses,” Spock whispered. “I find I have an illogical impulse to harm them.”

“Yeah?” Jim scooted closer in the bed to Spock. “Have you got any other illogical impulses?”

“You speak of coitus.”

“Well, I’d kind of like to do more than speak of it, Spock. I’ve never done anything like it and I don’t think you ever have either, right?”

“No, I have not.”

“Then we would be learning together.” Jim licked his lips and Spock zeroed in on the movement. “Do you-do you have something we can use?”

“Something we can use?”

Jim leaned his forehead against Spock’s. “Yeah you know for, um, lubrication.”

“Oh.” Spock knew he was blushing. He shook his head. “I am afraid I do not.”

“Damn,” Jim said, sounding vastly disappointed. “We have to get something. Later, maybe?”

“Yes, we can.”

Jim nodded. “In-in the meantime, there’s other stuff, right? There’s oral sex.”

“Do you know anything about oral sex, Jim?”

“Well, no. I mean I haven’t, but I can figure it out. Couldn’t you?”

“Yes,” Spock replied in a choked voice.

Jim kissed the corner of Spock’s mouth. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. It’s just us, right?”

“It is, but I have no experience with sexual practices.”

“I don’t either. Well, I mean I’ve, you know, touched myself a time or two. Have you?”

Spock whispered, “No.”

“You never have?”

“No.”

“How can you resist?” Jim laughed softly. “I mean, God, Spock. I want to touch you myself.”

“Jim.”

“Spock.” Jim’s fingers grasped Spock’s jaw as he kissed Spock deeply, slowly, and with so much passion Spock felt it all the way to his toes. He moaned as Jim’s tongue prodded his mouth open and slipped inside. Jim pushed closer to Spock, so close that their stomachs touched. He felt Jim’s hand slip inside his sleeping robe, Jim’s blunt fingers fanning across his bare skin.

Jim’s lips drew away from Spock’s briefly. “I want to touch you so much. Do you want to touch me?”

Spock trembled. “Yes.” His cock had already begun to rise at the talk of touching himself, of touching Jim, of Jim touching him.

“I’m so glad,” Jim said against Spock’s lips. His hand slipped lower and parted Spock’s robe. His hand closed around Spock’s shaft. “Oh, God.”

Spock closed his eyes and gasped as Jim’s questing fingers slid up and down on his cock. It was almost unbearable. “Jim. Jim, please.”

Jim licked his lips. “You like that?”

“Gah,” was all Spock managed to say.  Jim reached for Spock’s hand and pulled it to his own robe. Spock got the hint and reached inside Jim’s robe to locate Jim’s erection. Jim felt like hot steel in Spock’s grasp. And touching Jim this way heightened Spock’s excitement until he was rutting into Jim’s fist while sliding his own fist along Jim’s cock almost frantically.

“Spock,” Jim whimpered, fusing his lips to Spock’s. It was too much, it was not enough. Spock was on fire and burned for Jim. “I burn for you, too.” Spock did not know if he’d said it out loud or if Jim caught the stray thought from their link.

Every nerve ending in Spock felt electrified. He felt like he might explode, not just his penis but his entire being.

“Jim, I—”

“Me, too, Spock.” Jim kissed him desperately, the hand not bringing Spock closer to his release, clinging to Spock. “So-so—” Cum splattered out from Jim’s cock all over Spock’s hand. Spock’s own cock reacted immediately, joining Jim’s, coating Jim’s stroking fingers.

They panted together, mouths open, breathing into each other.

It was a long time until either of them could catch their breath enough to speak and when they did all Jim could say was, “Spock” over and over. Spock pulled him close, wrapping his arms tight around his t’hy’la, as they fell asleep in each other’s embrace.


	17. Diversion

Jim woke to find himself alone in Spock’s bed. He could hear the sounds of Spock cooking in the kitchen as well as the voices of Dr. McCoy and Spock. He glanced at the digital display next to the bed to see it was nearly ten in the morning. He had slept late. Very strange.

He swung his legs out of bed and grabbed for his PADD.  There was a message from his contact. One of the survivors had to be moved from their location, so caution was urged. Jim took a shower then and dressed, and went out to the kitchen to find Spock’s friend, Bones—as Jim called him—sitting at the dining room table drinking coffee. Spock was at the stove making eggs and potatoes.

“Good morning,” Bones said to Jim as he went to the coffeemaker for some coffee.

“Hi.”

“You are well?” Spock asked softly.

“Yeah.” Jim poured his coffee and added cream. The truth was Jim felt a little awkward and out of place. This was Spock’s friend and Jim didn’t really know him, not really. He barely knew Spock. And waking up to find someone else here after everything that went on between them the night before made Jim feel raw in a way he couldn’t even explain.

“The plan is to leave for Vulcan this afternoon on the shuttle, Jim,” Spock said, seemingly oblivious to Jim’s discomfort.

“What about your studies?”

“I have been discussing that with Leonard,” Spock replied. “I will be taking a temporary leave from the academy. I plan to speak to my professors and advisers after breakfast. When I return, we will leave. Once you are settled on Vulcan with my parents, I will return here and resume my studies."

Jim’s heart dropped to his stomach. “You’re leaving me there?”

“Only for a short period, Jim.”

Jim glanced at Bones. He would have preferred not to discuss this in front of him. “Why can’t I just stay here then?”

“You will be safe on Vulcan.”

He bit his lip but didn’t argue further. Bones was staring at him. “Um. I’ll be in my room. Until breakfast.” He disappeared down the hall and went into his room, but even as he tried to drown out their voices with music and headphones he heard Bones say, “I don’t trust that kid, Spock.”

****

Jim was glad that Bones had not stayed for breakfast. Spock had called him out of his room and Spock was alone. When Jim sat down with his eggs and potatoes he looked to Spock.

“Your friend doesn’t like me.”

“I believe that he does,” Spock replied.

“Well, he doesn’t trust me.”

“You heard him?”

Jim nodded.

“He is just cautious. He has not met a lot of trustworthy people.”

“Does he make you doubt me?”

Spock’s eyes softened. “No, t’hy’la.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah?”

“I trust you.”

He let out a held breath. “I’m glad. And I trust you, too.”

Spock touched his fingers to Jim’s. “You should eat, Jim. It may be a while before we can eat again.”

“Okay.” Jim eyed Spock. “We, uh, are you sure we don’t have time for some more exploration?”

Spock gave him a reproving look. “We do not.”

“Bummer.” Jim grinned.

Later, Spock prepared to leave for the Academy. “I will not be long. When I return we will pack some belongings and then take the shuttle to Vulcan.”

Jim nodded. “All right.”

Spock touched his fingers to Jim’s forehead. “You are still troubled.”

“No, I’m all right.”

“You regret how we spent our night together?” Spock asked softly.

“What? No.” Jim leaned into Spock. “No.”

“Then what troubles you?”

“I just—I don’t want to make problems for you, Spock. You’re taking time off from school, dropping everything to go to Vulcan, putting your parents out—”

“You are my mate, they do not view it that way.”

“Even still. Your friends don’t like me or trust me.”

Spock ghosted his lips over Jim’s cheek. “I care not what any of them think. You are what is important.”

“But you shouldn’t think that way.”

“How should I think about my t’hy’la?”

Jim huffed out a breath. “I really don’t know. If anything happens to you—”

“Nothing will as long as you are safe.”

“You’re really amazing.”

Spock pressed a kiss to Jim’s lips. “I will return shortly.”

“Don’t forget to buy some lubricant while you are out,” Jim called after Spock as he left. He laughed at the raised eyebrows directed his way as Spock closed the door.

After Spock had left, Jim picked up his PADD again. There was a general message to all of them.

_CP really needs assistance. Mojave. Anyone who can come. Safe, #1._

Damn. Jim wanted to help. But Spock would not be pleased if he took off again. Still it sounded urgent. She wouldn’t ask otherwise.

But Jim waited. He wasn’t going to flee, wasn’t going to take off on Spock. Not this time. Either he would talk Spock into going with him or he wouldn’t go at all.

He’d gone through four cups of coffee and one cup of hot cocoa by the time Spock returned.

Spock frowned very slightly. “You are anxious.”

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“To go to Vulcan?”

Jim shook his head. “Well, not at first. I’d like to make a stop on the way.”

The eyebrow shot up. Jim loved that. He really did. “To where?”

Jim smiled. He knew he had a great smile. “The Mojave Desert.”

“And what is in the Mojave Desert?”

“Pike.”


	18. Mojave

Spock found himself in the passenger seat of an old Earth car nervously watching out the window at the sights that flew by as Jim drove them from San Francisco to the Mojave Desert. He’d asked why they couldn’t take a shuttle or even a hover car and Jim had told him it was “too risky”.

Spock had no clue how his young mate had come up with the vehicle he now rode in.

When Jim had presented him with their means of transportation he’d asked him the most important question. “Do you know how to operate this vehicle?”

“Well, sure. Of course I do.” Jim had flashed him a smile that would have charmed even the most stoic members of the Vulcan Council. “Anyway. I’m sure I can figure it out.”

Now as they were an hour into the almost eight hour drive ahead of them, Spock had decided Jim could not, after all, ‘figure it out’.

“Ashaya, perhaps it would be better for me to drive,” Spock said, as they went over a bump in the road very fast, lifting the vehicle up in the air for a moment.

Jim shot him a look. “Do you know how to drive a car, Spock?”

“I have operated a hover car.”

“Not sure it’s the same thing.”

“I am sure it is close. I suspect you have not even done that.”

Jim grinned. “Well, I have now. It’s fine, Spock. There’s hardly even anyone on the road.”

“For which we are indeed fortunate.  I thought you wanted to arrive in one piece to save Pike.”

Jim reached over and squeezed Spock’s leg. “Babe, it’s fine.”

Spock’s eyebrow shot up. “Babe?”

“You use endearments. Vulcan ones. So I figured I should use human ones. I like both babe and sweetheart, so I think maybe I will use both.”

“You are illogical.”

“Yep,” Jim agreed. He started messing with the dials on the dashboard.

“What are you doing?” Spock asked, alarmed.

“I wondered if this old car had an operating radio. Doesn’t seem like it though.”

“Then perhaps it would be better to keep your attention on the road.”

Jim laughed. “You’re kind of funny when you’re rattled.”

“I am not rattled,” Spock insisted.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re rattled.”

When his stomach flipped at this endearment, Spock decided he obviously preferred it over ‘babe’.

“Is Pike a survivor of Tarsus?” Spock asked to change the subject. So far Jim had not been forthcoming with information about this person.

Jim shook his head. “No. He was a member of the enhancement team.”

“He is responsible for your so-called enhancements?”

“One of several.”

Spock straightened. “And we are going to his rescue because… why?”

“He’s the one who helped us escape Kodos, Spock. At great sacrifice to himself. I can’t not help him.”

“That is a double negative.”

Jim glanced his way, eyes wide. “Uh. Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I have to help if I can. I don’t know what’s happening, but I have to try.”

“Who is Number One?”

“She was his assistant. They were lovers. I guess they still are.”

Spock lapsed into silence for the next ten miles as Jim passed by more streets and cities. He had been reluctant to agree to this and it wasn’t just because of Jim’s questionable driving skills.

“Have you thought perhaps that this could be a trap?”

“A trap?” Jim tensed beside him.

“Yes. These people chasing you, this Kodos, from what you have relayed about him it seems reasonable he will stop at nothing to either eliminate the remaining enhanced survivors or recapture them. Assuming he is well aware that it was Pike who helped you escape, it is easy to imagine he has also been hunting Pike as well as the enhanced survivors. Yes?”

The set of Jim’s mouth was grim. “Yes.”

“If they have located where Pike and Number One are hiding, then the possibility exists that her message to come to assist him was a trap and Kodos and his allies will be waiting.”

Jim pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. “Fuck. You’re right. You’re fucking right.”

“It is possible, Jim, though not a certainty.”

Jim studied Spock’s face. Suddenly Jim looked so much older than Spock knew him to be. “You think it is, though, don’t you?”

Vulcans did not lie, or so it was said, but more importantly…Spock did not. And he would certainly not do so with Jim. “Yes. I have no logical reason to believe so other than what I have already suggested to you but it feels wrong, Jim.”

Jim turned to stare out at the front of the car. He did not respond for several minutes. Then he exhaled very slowly. “It does feel wrong. And I don’t know how I know it, but I do. I didn’t really think about it, not seriously, but yeah, this isn’t Pike. “

“What do you wish to do?”

“We can’t go to the Mojave Desert that’s for sure.” Jim tapped the steering wheel of the car. “But I think going back to San Francisco would be a mistake too.” He looked at Spock. “You were right to want to go to Vulcan. I think that’s where we need to go. But we need to go from somewhere other than San Francisco. Or anywhere in California.”

Spock nodded. “You have a destination in mind?”

“Not Riverside. They might have someone watching there. Where else can we get a shuttle from Earth to Vulcan?”

“There is one in Houston, one in Chicago, and one in New York.”

Jim nodded. “New York is too obvious. Chicago it is.”

“You think this car can get us all the way to Chicago?”

“Well, sure. The biggest issue is fuel. But there are still some fuel stations around. We’ll have to stop sometimes for sleep. We can even take turns driving her.”

“Her?”

“Betsy,” Jim said with a grin.

“You have named the car Betsy.”

“Well, she had to have a name.”

“Why?”

“She just did,” Jim insisted. He restarted the car and pulled back on to the road. “If Pike really did need help I’m going to feel really bad.”

“I know,” Spock acknowledged. On impulse he held out his two fingers for Jim.

Jim smiled and met Spock’s fingers with his own. “When we get to Vulcan I’ll have to figure out what happened to Pike and everyone else.”

“Indeed.”

“Thanks, Spock.” He withdrew his fingers.

“For?”

“Keeping me from making a big mistake. I owe you.”

“You are my t’hy’la, the only thing you owe me is your safety,” Spock told him quietly. “I would like to thank you.”

Jim smiled, though he kept his attention on the road. “For?”

“Listening to me without dismissing my concerns and heeding my advice.”

“Well, you are wise.” Before Spock could respond, Jim continued, “And unbelievably hot too.”

Spock was tempted to give into the human urge to roll his eyes. Instead he fell back on, “Indeed.”

Jim laughed and sped over another bump. Spock clutched the car door. It was going to be a long trip.   


	19. The Road to Completion

Jim looked all around the seedy diner they’d stopped at to eat. He’d looked all around outside in the parking lot as they’d approached the diner too. He hadn’t seen anything suspicious but he kept his hand on the phaser he kept in his coat pocket.

The diner was in some town he’d never heard of. He doubted anyone ever had. There was an old man at the counter and an even older waitress helping him. He could see a cook in the window leading into the kitchen. Other than that there was just him and Spock.

“Sit anywhere you’d like,” the old waitress said from behind the counter.

Jim grabbed two menus and they sat in a booth, with Jim facing the door.

“No one followed us,” Spock told him calmly.

“Can’t be too careful.”

“I doubt they even know where you are at present since you did not show up to the Mojave Desert.”

“Let’s hope that’s true.” Jim opened the menu.

“Considering the erratic and nonsensical direction of your driving over the last two hours I do not believe they could have followed you even if they wanted to,” Spock said without looking up from his own menu.

“That was the whole purpose. You still feel queasy?”

“My stomach has relaxed somewhat.”

“I’m sorry, Babe. Maybe you should have closed your eyes.”

“I tried that. It made me feel worse.”

The waitress came up to them. “What can I get for you?”

“I’d like coffee to drink,” Jim told her. “And the grilled cheese sandwich. Can I get sliced tomatoes instead of the fries?”

“Sure, honey.” She glanced at Spock. “And you?”

“Hot tea. I will have the eggplant, please.”

“All right, be right back with your drinks.”

Jim bit his lip. “You think you will be okay?”

“Yes, but I will be driving when we leave in the morning.”

They had paid for a motel room within walking distance of the diner and planned to get some sleep before they continued.

“I can drive as long as I get some sleep,” Jim told him.

“I will drive,” Spock said firmly.

The waitress brought their drinks and then moved off again.

Jim added cream and sugar to his coffee and then winced when he took a sip.

“Not to your liking?”

“A little bitter.”

“My tea is lukewarm.”

“I guess cheap isn’t always good.”

Spock arched a brow. “It seldom is.”

After they ate and paid for their food, they walked back to the small motel. Jim remained on alert, though he suspected Spock was right and they had not been followed.

“Should I stand guard?” Jim asked as he closed them in the room, locking the magnetic deadbolt.

“Jim—”

“I’m kidding, Spock. I don’t think we need to stand guard.” Jim walked over to where Spock stood near the bathroom door. He smiled and slipped his hands under Spock’s sweater. “I want to feel every inch of you.”

Spock arched one of his cute pointy brows. “You propose we engage in sexual relations in this motel room?”

“I so propose that. That’s what these kinds of places are for. Or so I understand. And really, do you think we will get much of a chance when we’re on Vulcan?”

“I am uncertain,” Spock admitted.

Jim stroked his thumb across Spock’s jaw. “I really want to be with you. Don’t you want to be with me?”

Spock trembled under Jim’s touch. “You must know I do.”

Jim touched his lips softly to Spock’s. It was just a brief tease of what was meant to be. What would be. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

“Nor have I.”

He darted his tongue out to trace Spock’s bottom lip. “You brought the lubricant, didn’t you?”

Spock swallowed, his Adam’s apple sliding through his throat slowly. “Yes.”

“Please. I want to feel you moving inside me. Please.”

Spock closed his eyes. “I cannot deny you anything.”

Jim kissed Spock’s eyelids. “Good. That’s good.” He kissed down Spock’s face, placing a tiny kiss on his nose, then at the corner of Spock’s mouth. 

“If we engage in coitus,” Spock said, his voice rough and shaky, “we may complete the bond.”

“Isn’t it already completed?”

“It is not. Our tentative link is there, yes. The t’hy’la link. But it is possible to go years without completing it.”

Jim frowned. “I thought you wanted it.”

“I want it. I am concerned for you.”

“Spock, there’s no way I’m not going to want to have sex with you.”

“Being my bondmate means our minds will be linked, you will feel what I feel, just as I will feel what you feel. I will know your memories, you will know mine. And when sexual maturation—”

“Sexual—”

“For Vulcans. I will go through Pon Farr. After my first Pon Farr, it will occur every seven years.”

“Okay.” Jim shook his head. Why did they have to talk about all this now? He wanted Spock to fuck him. “I don’t remember reading about that.”

“We do not speak of it.”

“Spock, I don’t care about all of this. I just want to—”

“But you will care,” Spock said a little harshly, shaking Jim just a bit. “You cannot treat this lightly, t’hy’la.”

Jim sighed and leaned into him. “You really know how to be a buzzkill.”

“What does that mean?”

“Never mind. Just—tell me about Pon Farr then.”

“I will be driven to mate.”

“Mate?”

“Sexual intercourse.”

Jim laughed. “So what? I’m driven to do that right now, so if we could just—”

“It could be unpleasant for you. It will be repeatedly for days. I will have no choice and neither will my mate.” Spock looked away, not meeting his gaze.

Jim leaned his head against Spock’s and curved his fingers over Spock’s jaw. “This will be years from now, yes?”

Spock nodded. Jim slid his other hand under Spock’s sweater over his heart. He could feel Spock’s heart beating very fast.

“Can’t we just worry about it then?”

“If we bond fully—”

“Baby, we’re just going to join our bodies, okay?” Jim said gently. He kissed Spock, long and sweet.

“You do not understand the complexities of a Vulcan bond.”

“No, I don’t,” Jim admitted. “But I don’t want to die without ever being with you.”

“Do not joke about such things.”

“I’m not. I don’t know what’s going to happen and neither do you. We have this bond for a reason, yeah? And if making love for the first time completes it or whatever, then it’s meant to be.”

Spock stared into Jim’s eyes. “You are really trying hard to talk me into coitus.”

Jim smiled. “You noticed?”

“I notice all about you, ashal-veh.” Spock hooked his thumb under Jim’s chin and pressed his lips into Jim’s. It started out as a tentative kiss but very soon  became heated, urgent, as Spock’s mouth opened over his.

“Spock,” Jim gasped.

Spock’s tongue slipped into Jim’s mouth and Jim couldn’t hold back a moan. Spock might not have had a lot of experience in kissing but he’d sure as fuck became an expert. He looped his arms around Spock’s neck, pressing in closer, yearning for more contact between them.

Vulcan hands slid down his back and cupped Jim’s ass, bringing him flush against the hard ridge in Spock’s pants.

“Fuck,” Jim moaned.

“Patience,” Spock murmured. His tongue once more tangled with Jim’s, tips touching, learning the taste of each other.

Jim’s cock had grown painfully hard, trapped within the confines of his pants. “Please. Please, Spock,” he begged.

Spock stepped back from him and before Jim could even manage a whimper of protest, Spock knelt in front of him. Deft fingers undid the fastening of his pants, parting them to reveal Jim’s underwear. As Jim watched in amazed and grateful disbelief, Spock mouthed the bulge of his hard cock through the material.

Jim’s breaths stuttered, his heart pounding hard.  Spock’s long fingers now pulled the cotton away revealing Jim’s erection in all its naked glory. He nibbled on his bottom lip a little nervously as Spock’s lips hovered near the tip of his penis. No one had ever touched his with their mouth.

Spock suddenly looked up just as his mouth drew Jim’s cock inside and Jim met his gaze, warm and lust-filled. Jim thought then and there it really was possible to die of pleasure.

Never in a million years had Jim ever imagined something like this. Spock pulled his pants and underwear down to Jim’s knees even as he slowly sucked Jim’s cock in to the moist recesses of his mouth. Jim’s hand reached down to hold Spock’s head in place, but then he hesitated, fingers twitching in the air, a little embarrassed by his own boldness.

Then Spock nodded.

With a hitched breath, Jim carded his fingers in Spock’s amazingly silky dark hair and barely refrained from pushing himself down Spock’s throat.

This was…this was…

“Oh, God. Oh my God.”

Spock’s fingers were now rolling Jim’s balls even as he took more and more of Jim’s cock in.

Jim’s legs shook. Maybe it was tremors through his whole body.

“Spock, I—Spock—Spock,” Jim babbled. He was so close. So very close.

Spock added a finger into his mouth, just for a second, and then slid it down the crack of Jim’s ass until he found Jim’s hole. The wet finger pressed in as Spock swallowed down.

Jim lost it. His cock twitched and emptied into Spock’s mouth as his whole body trembled with the force of his release. His knees buckled but he never hit the floor because suddenly he was being carried in Spock’s arms. He was laid gently on the motel bed and with half-lidded eyes he watched Spock remove the rest of Jim’s clothes and then his own.

Spock was so beautiful. His cock rose between his legs, flushed and slightly green. Spock reached into his bag and retrieved the lubricant and knelt between Jim’s spread legs. Jim spread them farther apart.

“Are you certain, t’hy’la?”

Jim nodded. “Make me yours.”

Spock slicked his erection and then squirted some onto his fingers. Jim was too relaxed and sated to become aroused again as Spock’s fingers entered and loosened him, but he loved watching Spock. His Vulcan was clearly barely controlling himself. His skin was tinged green everywhere and his lips were parted slightly as he panted breaths.

Jim licked his lips. “Go ahead.”

“Jim—”

“I’m ready, sweetheart. Do it. Make me yours,” he said again.

Spock lifted Jim’s thighs as he poised himself at Jim’s hole. “Ek’wak,” Spock whispered as his cock pressed into Jim, past the tight ring of muscle.

The burning sting and pressure forced a groan of pain out of Jim but it was gone quickly and he urged Spock to move deeper by lifting his legs higher. Spock moaned and slid in deeper. With just a little more urging Spock began to move, thrusting slow and with great care, as though not to hurt Jim.

“Spock, you don’t have to be so careful with me.”

“I will not hurt you.”

“You won’t. I’m not made of glass. It’s good.”

Spock closed his eyes and gripped Jim by the back of his thighs. He increased the pace of his thrusts, pumping in ever deeper with each one. Next time Jim intended to feel this when he was hard himself.

“Jim,” Spock rasped. He was frantic now, pumping into Jim hard and fast.

“God, yes. Come inside me, Spock. Please,” he pleaded.

With a loud whimper, Spock spent himself inside Jim, going rigid, his expression one of amazement and wonder.

After barely a moment, he pulled out of Jim and crawled up the bed to lie beside Jim. His fingers spread over Jim’s face. He raised a brow in question, his gaze boring into Jim’s.

“Yes,” Jim said softly.

He moved his fingers to Jim’s psi-points. “Kashkau-wuhkuh eh teretuhr.”


	20. Theories

Jim had been very quiet since they’d left the motel where they’d had full sexual intimacy for the first time. Spock was driving the car this time. He had insisted, expecting Jim to argue with him, but Jim had merely walked to the passenger side of the car and gotten in.

Spock was unsure what to make of Jim’s mood. Since meeting Jim on the shuttle in Riverside he had been aware of Jim’s ever shifting moods. Humans were blatant in their emotional displays and Jim more so than most.

“Do you regret our sexual intimacy?” Spock finally forced himself to ask when Jim continued to stare out the passenger window at the passing landscape.

Jim’s only response was a shake of his head in denial.

“You are upset with me?” Spock had no idea what he had done, but whatever it was, he would agree to do penance for it.

“No.” It was a mere whisper on the wind.

Spock’s stomach clenched. “Then what distresses you?”

“They killed another of us,” Jim said hollowly.

“What?”

“Before we left, after breakfast, I hacked into the motel’s computer network. They found another. She’s dead.”

For a moment all Spock could dredge up was the relief he felt that it was not Jim who was dead. It was selfish of him, he knew that. But that was his first thought and he could not help it. He forced himself to think of Jim’s friend and to provide the appropriate response Jim required.

“I am sorry for your loss. Was it because of the Mojave Desert?”

Jim nodded, leaned his head against the window. “You were right. It was a trap. I would have been stupid and fallen right into it if not for you.”

“You are not stupid, Jim. You are trusting and lack experience. And Pike and Number One?”

“No news on them. I don’t think they were even there. It would have been a place we expected though because that’s where he was from originally. They knew we would believe it.”

“Was she the only one they terminated?”

Jim flinched at his choice of word and Spock opened his mouth to apologize, but Jim was already replying, “Yeah seems like it. I think either the others figured out it was a trap or sensed something happened before they made it all the way there.”

Unable to prevent himself from voicing his relief, Spock said quietly, “I am gratified you are safe."

“Thanks to you. You really are my savior, Spock.”

When Jim once more lapsed into silence, Spock allowed it for an hour or so. But after he stopped to obtain a coffee for Jim and a tea for him, Spock resumed his attempt to draw Jim out.

“What are you thinking?”

“Why make us what they did only to turn around and kill us?”

Spock thought about this. “To eliminate any loose ends.”

Jim sucked in a breath. “So, that’s all we are. Loose ends.”

Spock felt the need, however illogical, to assure Jim that he was more than a loose end, however, he tamped down the emotional response, sensing that it would be not quite correct under these circumstances.

“To Kodos and his people, yes.”

“Fuck.”

“Tarsus IV was a disaster on many levels, Jim. Most are not even aware of the experiments conducted on you and the others.”

Jim glanced at him for the first time in many minutes. “I don’t know if that’s true.”

“What do you mean?”

“There are those in the Federation who had the information. It’s been speculated that some of them even approved of his experiments, if not exactly officially ordering them.”

Spock stiffened. “Are you implying Kodos conducted these experiments at the behest of the Federation?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Jim looked away again, this time straight ahead to the road. “We’ve always been sure it was Kodos and his minions out to get us. But what if we’re wrong, Spock?”

“Meaning?”

“We’re loose ends all right. But for the Federation.”

“That is difficult to believe.”

“Maybe and yet it makes some sick sort of sense. I don’t know, Spock. What I do know is someone is after us. Whoever it is. And they are getting better at finding us.”

Spock fell into uneasy silence. He did not care for paranoid conspiracy theories and yet—

“Who was it that betrayed you?” Spock asked. “You said there were ten originally and one betrayed the other nine.”

“A guy named Gary Mitchell,” Jim said in an oddly detached voice. “I thought he was my friend. My best friend. And he betrayed us all. Got my family killed. You have no idea what it’s like to trust someone so completely and be so completely wrong.”

“That is true,” Spock acknowledged. But he suspected if the Federation were indeed behind the elimination of Kodos’ experimental enhancements, Spock would learn very fast what it would be like to have that unfailing trust betrayed.

Spock thought about it for several more minutes of quiet driving. “There is an Admiral Mitchell.”

Jim glanced his way again, licking his lips. “Right. Gary’s father.”

“Admiral Mitchell is Gary Mitchell’s father?”

“Uh-huh. Gary was on Tarsus because the admiral and his wife were divorcing. His mother moved to Tarsus to start a new life for herself and her son.”

Spock clenched the steering wheel. “Then it is possible Gary would have spoken with his father about the experiments.”

“Yeah.” Jim nodded. “Even likely. Son of a bitch.”

“Your theory is not altogether paranoid,” Spock allowed.

“Thanks. I think.” Jim blew out a breath. “Spock?”

Spock shook his head. “Do not say it.”

“You don’t know what I’m going to say.”

“You are my t’hy’la. I know. And we are not separating. “

“Spock, you’re in danger just by associating with me,” Jim protested.

“We are not separating,” he repeated.

“But your family—“

“You will be safe on Vulcan. Whoever is after you will not know you are there.”

“I can’t hide there forever.”

“No, you cannot,” Spock agreed. “But you can and will stay there until we figure out what we are up against and how to combat it.”

“Spock—”

“We are a team, Jim. It is time you accepted this.”


	21. I Can Never Leave the Past Behind

Jim hadn’t wanted to stop one more night before they made it to Chicago but Spock had insisted when he noticed how tired Jim was. Jim had taken over driving from Spock and had insisted he was fine but eventually Vulcan logic had overruled human stubbornness and here they were.

They’d gotten takeout food, which Jim could tell didn’t really appeal to Spock, but he made an attempt to eat some of it anyway.

Jim had just taken a shower in the tiny bathroom he could barely move around in and when he came out, wearing only pajama bottoms, he quickly realized his Vulcan was meditating. He knew it was very important to them, and it seemed in particular to Spock, so Jim made an extreme effort to stay as quiet as he could. It was a monumental challenge for someone who was not naturally quiet.

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, Jim turned toward the ancient coffeemaker in the seedy hotel room. Seedy to him anyway. Admittedly he didn’t have a lot of experience with such things. There was one queen-sized bed, which was sort of crooked now that Jim thought about it. And one side dipped further down than the other. One ratty old dresser made out of synthetic wood and the coffeemaker. Not a synthesizer to be seen.

The bathroom consisted of one old tub shower with a disgusting looking shower curtain—Jim had made great pains to keep it from touching him—a toilet and a sink. All crammed very close together.

Spock was currently sitting on the bed, cross-legged, his eyes closed, seemingly unaware of Jim’s presence. Or trying to be unaware anyway.

Jim picked up the carafe of the coffeemaker and brought it into the bathroom to fill it with water. At least the water coming out of the spout was clear. That was a plus. He poured the water in the receptacle, added the coffee and pressed start.

“Do you—” Jim clamped his hands over his mouth immediately. Jesus. He couldn’t even go five minutes without opening his mouth. Fortunately, Spock did not react to Jim’s faux pas. Jim picked up one of the mugs and eyed it critically for signs of uncleanliness. Seeing nothing overt, he turned to the additives. There was sugar and some sort of fake sugar. Jim didn’t need either of those. There was some liquid non-dairy stuff and some powdery junk. Jim grimaced. He’d have to make do.

The coffeemaker spewed the last of its drippings and so Jim lifted the carafe and poured himself some. It smelled bitter, but with a shrug, Jim added the liquid stuff. And more liquid stuff. He’d added four of the little containers and it showed very little change in color of the coffee. He sighed.

“What causes you such distress, t’hy’la?”

Jim turned in surprise to see that Spock had risen from the bed and was now watching him.

“Did I disturb you?”

“It is hardly possible not to in such tight quarters.”

“I’m sorry. I tried to be quiet.”

“It is a small matter,” Spock assured him. “What prompted your sigh?”

“Just being overly dramatic,” Jim admitted.

Spock’s lips curved slightly as he came around behind Jim and wrapped his arms around Jim’s middle, drawing Jim’s back against his chest. “You are stressed. I would ease it.”

Jim closed his eyes and leaned against Spock. “That helps right there.”

Spock threaded his finger through Jim’s hair. “Instead of caffeinating your body, you should sleep.”

“Sleep? Not have sex?”

“If that is what you desire, Jim.”

Jim turned in Spock’s arms to face him. “Is it wrong to want to be with you again?”

“Nothing we do together is wrong, t’hy’la.” Spock slid his hand down Jim’s arms and laced their fingers together. “Put down the coffee and come to bed.”

Jim gladly set his coffee cup next to the maker and allowed Spock to lead him to the bed. Jim lay on his back as Spock lay above him, his arms locked at the elbows as he looked down at Jim.

They kissed softly at first, their lips barely touching in teasing mockery of true kisses, but it was enough at first. Until Jim became more and more anxious to have Spock…to have everything.

“Meld with me,” he whispered, a plea.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes. I want all of you, Spock. I don’t want to know where you end and I begin, I want us to be one.”

Spock’s hand went to Jim’s face. “Whatever you wish, Jim. I would give you anything.”

Jim swallowed down the emotion bubbling up in his throat. “Knowing I’m not alone anymore _is_ everything.”

“You will never be again, my James.”

Jim closed his eyes and Spock’s mind joined his.

****

Jim woke with a start and realized very quickly he was alone in the bed. He listened carefully for the sound of the shower but the only sound in the too quiet room was the beating of his own heart.

“Spock?” Jim sat up, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “Spock?”

But there was no response.

With a frown, Jim got out of bed. The bathroom door was partially closed. He pushed it open. No Spock. There were signs that the shower had been recently used though.

Jim peed and then pulled on clothes afterward. Perhaps Spock had either gone for a walk or sought out a peaceful place to meditate.

He opened the door of the motel room and looked out into the dawn of the day. There were no immediate signs of his Vulcan. So he closed the door and stepped outside.

“Spock?”

Their car still sat there parked outside their room. There was no movement anywhere in the parking lot. His heart sped up its already too fast staccato.

Jim bit his lip. He searched his mind, trying to get some sense of Spock. There was nothing.

”Spock?” he called louder now, hearing the panic in his own voice. The wobble on the word.

“Jim, no!”

Jim turned, eyes wide, toward Spock’s cry. He only then realized he had forgotten his phaser.

There were two very large, very mean looking Starfleet security guards holding on to Spock. One had a phaser pointed right at Spock’s temple.

A man stepped around them. One Jim recognized with sickening dread.

“Gary.”

Gary Mitchell smiled. “Hello, Jimmy.”

Jim took a step closer.

“I wouldn’t if I were you.”

“Let him go.”

“I don’t really want him. I want you and everyone else,” Gary told him. “Come back to San Francisco. Bring the others with you. Pike, too.”

“They’ll never go.”

“Tsk, tsk. Then Spock dies. You’d better convince them.”

“You don’t need Spock. Just take me. Now.”

Spock struggled against the guards. “No! He is just a boy.”

“You have no idea what this boy is capable of, Mr. Spock. But I do.” Gary smirked. “But I don’t want just you, Jimmy. I want everyone. And you will get them. Come to San Francisco. Let me know when you’re there.” Gary tossed him a communicator. “My frequency is there. Use it. If you want to see this pointy-eared Vulcan again you’ll come. But don’t take too long. I don’t know how long he has.”

One of the guards held up a phaser in Jim’s direction.

 “Wait! No! Please—”

When Jim came to, Spock and his captors were gone and Jim was alone, sprawled out in the parking lot, next to his car. Overwhelming grief and pain hit him. His head hurt. His heart hurt. His eyes filled with tears and he couldn’t stop the sobs.

What was he going to do? He’d lost Spock. He’d lost everything.


	22. Reinforcements

 

Jim returned to the motel room he’d recently shared with Spock. He showered quickly, got dressed and packed up both his and Spock’s things. He still had his phaser and it was fully charged. He suspected he was going to need it. He kept himself busy with all these tasks so he did not think. He could not think. With thinking, Jim very much suspected he would give into the madness threatening to overtake him.

Spock could not afford to have Jim lose it.

He hacked into the motel’s computers and sent out the messages he had to send before he took off. He left credit chips in the room to cover the cost and then got in the car and began to drive to his next destination.

Two hours into it, he stopped for coffee, but couldn’t make himself eat anything. He continued to keep his mind carefully blank of anything but arriving where he needed to.

Hours later, he parked the car, and headed into the shuttle bay. He kept his hand on the phaser in his leather jacket pocket. He checked the time at least four times. He paced back and forth and waited. At the arranged time, he slipped into the small bar that was located in the shuttle bay. Only a moment later, Jim’s waiting time was over.

Jim released a heavy breath. “Hi. I’m James Kirk. Spock’s bondmate.”

Spock’s father, Sarek, angled his head in a way so similar to Spock, Jim’s resolve not to think almost crumbled. “I am aware of your status and relationship to my son. I am Sarek.”

Jim nodded. “I wish that we were able to meet under better circumstances.”

“I share that sentiment.” Sarek surveyed him. “You are merely a boy.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that matters to those who have Spock. They are very dangerous.”

“Obviously. I am prepared to accompany you to San Francisco.”

“Good. And you brought weapons?”

“I did.” Sarek moved aside part of his robe to display several different types of phasers.”

“That’s quite an arsenal.”

“I am hopeful they are unnecessary.”

Jim shook his head. “I wouldn’t count on that.” He bit his lip. “Listen, I’m sorry that—”

“There is no need for apologies, Jim. Spock has told me much about your circumstances and also his satisfaction at having a bondmate. Whatever has happened to Spock was not your fault nor do I believe that Spock would blame you either.”

“No. He wouldn’t.” Jim straightened. “All right, if you are ready, we should go then.”

“I am.”

“I’m ready also,” a woman spoke from the shadows as she emerged to stand in front of Jim. She had dark hair, streaked with a bit of gray. At least the part that Jim could see, for she wore a rather odd headscarf. She wore pants and a buttoned-down green top. She was pretty, though, even though she was older. She smiled at Jim. “I’m Amanda.”

Jim blinked at her in surprise.

Sarek arched a brow. “Yes. This is she who is my wife. When she learned Spock had been abducted, she insisted on accompanying me.”

Amanda came to Jim and to his surprise she embraced him. “I’m so sorry you’re not on Vulcan with us now, Jim. When this is all over, you will come stay with us for a while.”

Jim nodded, his throat tightening.

She pulled away and patted his cheeks lightly.  “My husband is right. You are far too young for all of this. Which is one of the reasons I’m coming along. I can’t let my new son-in-law face this alone.  And anyone who dares to abduct my son, answers to me.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am.”

“You must call me Amanda.”

“Okay. Thank you, Amanda.” Jim looked a little helplessly at Sarek.

“Shall we be off?” Sarek asked.

“Yes. We still have others to meet.”

When they stepped out of the bar, Jim noticed another Vulcan standing nearby. He was very tall and very stiff looking. Jim glanced at his in-laws questioningly.

“Reinforcements,” Sarek explained. “This is Spock’s cousin, Stonn.”

Amanda smiled at Jim. “He looks more severe than he is.”

“Stonn, this is Spock’s bondmate, James Kirk.”

Stonn nodded at Sarek.

Then Jim, together with his three visitors from Vulcan, headed out of the shuttle bay. “I might need a bigger car.”

****

Jim winced as both Stonn and Sarek stumbled out of the car and hurried to the side of the road to retch. He eyed Amanda who got out of the car, looking very serene. “Was I really that bad?”

“They’re just a little carsick, sweetie. They’ll be fine in a moment.”

“I didn’t know Vulcans got carsick.”

“They have surprisingly delicate constitutions,” Amanda replied. “When is your friend supposed to arrive?”

“Should be here anytime. He might be a little cautious with you guys around though.”

“It will be hard to make ourselves scarce in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah,” Jim acknowledged. Not to mention his three companions would stick out anywhere. He heard a sound to the right and withdrew his phaser. Suddenly, Stonn shoved him aside and stepped protectively in front of him, armed with his own phaser. “Hey.”

“You are Spock’s mate. You must be protected,” Stonn said stoically.

Jim rolled his eyes and stepped around Stonn. “Hikaru? It’s okay if that’s you. These are, um, friends.”

“Family,” Amanda corrected with a faint smile.

Hikaru Sulu appeared suddenly from behind a group of trees. He looked warily around the clearing and at them. “How do I know I can trust you, Jim?”

“You don’t know, really. But I think you do, or you wouldn’t have come at all. This is Spock’s family. His father Sarek, mother Amanda, and cousin Stonn. This is Hikaru Sulu. A Tarsus survivor like me.”

Sulu nodded. “Um, good to meet you.”

“Can he operate a motor vehicle?” Sarek asked Jim.

Sulu frowned and answered himself. “Sure.”

Sarek indicated the car. “You will drive.”

“Jim?” Sulu asked.

“Yeah, okay. Everybody get in. I’d like to get some hours in before we have to stop for rest.” He eyed Stonn. “You’ll have to go up front.”

Stonn nodded and went where he was told.

Jim found himself in the middle of the backseat, sandwiched between Spock’s parents. Even though he was damned uncomfortable and his stomach was in knots, he found himself drifting off. He leaned toward Amanda and he tried not to sleep on her, but eventually, she bid him do so, and he gave in to his exhaustion, closing his eyes.  


	23. To Play a Hero

Amanda suspected the sleeping boy between her and Sarek was actually younger than he led Spock to believe. He had that look about him, though, of someone who had  aged far too quickly with the trauma they’d endured. While Jim was conscious, Amanda had seen in his very blue eyes that this young man had endured a lot.

Whatever his true age, Jim was Spock’s bondmate, his t’hy’la, and Amanda knew there could be no one more important for Spock. Since at present Spock was unable to protect Jim himself that duty fell to herself and Sarek, and they both took that duty quite seriously.

Stonn too would provide protection for Jim on behalf of Spock. Family connections were very important to Stonn, which is why her husband had enlisted Stonn’s help. She did not fail to notice Stonn seemed quite interested in Jim, individually though. It was subtle, of course. Vulcans were rarely blatant in their interest, but Amanda had enough experience with them to know there was an extra bit of sparkle in Stonn’s eyes when watching Jim.

It was unfortunate, of course, for Jim belonged to Spock. She did not wish to see Stonn hurt, but there was nothing that would change that.

Speaking of family, their family link was strong, and therefore, she was aware that Spock was very much alive. She was exceedingly grateful for this. She knew he could take care of himself under dire circumstances, however, this Gary Mitchell and those he controlled were unknowns to her and Sarek, so they had concerns.

Amanda petted Jim’s hair with a smile. He really was a beautiful young man. She understood why Spock had been drawn to him even before he had discovered their connection.

Jim stirred and opened his eyes, moving away from leaning on her immediately. He blushed. “Sorry.”

“You need not be sorry, Jim. I am certain you have not received the rest a young man such as yourself requires.”

When Spock was safely back with his family, Amanda planned to have both Spock and Jim spend an extended time on Vulcan. A healing retreat, if you will.

“Uh. Yeah. Sulu, where are we?” Jim asked, leaning forward to peer between Sulu and Stonn.

“Six hours until Denver,” Sulu said. 

“You getting tired? I can take over.”

“A little, yeah,” Sulu admitted. “Let me pull over.”

Sarek immediately stiffened on the other side of Jim. “Perhaps, I could—”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Sarek,” Amanda said quietly.

Sarek’s lips thinned but he did not protest again. Jim’s driving really was not that horrible. He was perhaps a little fast and reckless. But she was certain they could manage to get through it intact.

“Any signs we’re being followed?” Jim murmured to Sulu as they stood outside the driver’s side of the car.

“No. I’ve been checking.”

“I think they’d try something in Denver. Did you warn him?”

Sulu nodded. “Yeah. He’s ready.”

Jim got into the driver side and waited for Sulu to shift to the back seat. This time Amanda sat in the middle, next to her husband.

“Who do you plan on rendezvousing with in Denver, Jim?”

“A friend from Tarsus,” Jim replied, as he pulled the car back onto the road. “His name is Pavel. Very young.”

“Younger than you?”

“Yeah, he’s the youngest of us. But don’t worry, he’ll be fine. He won’t be a burden.”

Sarek spoke up from beside her. “How many are you collecting?”

“Just him before we go to Pike and Number One. The others wouldn’t come. They’re too scared. I don’t blame them. I’ve contacted Bones, too. He’ll be waiting for us just outside San Francisco.”

“Bones?” Amanda asked with a frown.

 “Leonard McCoy, ma’am. Spock’s friend back in San Francisco. He’ll help us.”

“Yes, Spock has mentioned Leonard. I’m glad he wants to help.”

Jim nodded. She could see his eyes in the rearview mirror of the car. They looked intense, determined. Far too old for his age. “Hang on.”

“What?” Sarek asked.

“I said, hang on. We’re about to go really fast.”

“James—”

“Think of it as a warp drive for a car,” Jim declared, as he stomped on the accelerator.

Sarek clutched Amanda and she did her best to soothe her husband.

****

Spock heard the door of the room he was being kept in open. He’d been kept reasonably comfortable since being abducted. He’d expected Gary Mitchell to wish to at least ‘rough him up’ but so far that had not occurred.

It was Mitchell who stepped into the room now.

“My reports indicate Jim is on his way,” Mitchell told him.

Spock said nothing. He knew Jim would come.

Mitchell smiled at him. “I’m sorry this was necessary.”

“I do not believe you are particularly sorry.”

“You’re right, I’m not. I do wish Jim made it easier to find him than he did though. He always was clever. Just not clever enough.”

“What do you intend to do? Kill Jim and the others?”

“No. At least that’s not what I want to do. While it would be nice to be the only one like me, the others have their uses for us.”

“You and your father, Admiral Mitchell.”

“Right. If they will join our special forces, then they won’t be killed. If not…draw your own conclusions.”

“And the others you have already disposed of?”

“They didn’t want to join.” Mitchell shrugged. “They were the weak links anyway. Never quite as good as the rest of us. They came into the program last and didn’t have the enhancements the rest of us had. Those who do not come to San Francisco with Jim will be eliminated. They serve no purpose if they will not join us.”

“They are in hiding, are they not?”

“We will learn of their locations from the others. With or without their cooperation.” Mitchell smiled. “Jim will be easy to convince.”

“How so?” Spock asked, dreading the answer.

“I know his weakness now. He’s the one I want the most. The others will follow him. Once I have them on our team, we will work to create more.”

“With the help of Pike and his wife?”

Mitchell smiled. “You’re correct. Perhaps we’ll experiment with enhancements on you, Mister Spock. It’s never been tried on a Vulcan before. It could be…fascinating.”

“Jim will not join you,” Spock said softly.

“If he wants you to live, he will.”

“You will have to kill us both.”

“I don’t think so. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about James Kirk, it’s that he likes to play hero.” 


	24. Enhancements

Stonn’s hovering was starting to get on Jim’s nerves. He appreciated the Vulcan’s protection—needed or not, for it was always good to have allies—but he couldn’t move a step without Stonn shadowing him. And with a big tall Vulcan hanging around him Jim wasn’t sure Pavel would show.

Jim glanced at Sulu, who grimaced. “Any sign of him?”

“No. Maybe he chickened out.”

Jim hoped that was it. He hoped Mitchell hadn’t gotten to Pavel. He turned to his shadow. “Stonn, can you wait back at the car?”

“Negative. I must protect you,” Stonn said stoically.

Jim sighed. “I appreciate it. I do. But I don’t—”

“Jim,” Sulu said urgently. There were footsteps approaching, running feet. More than one.

“They’re coming.”

“I hear nothing,” Stonn said.

Jim’s hand went for his phaser as Stonn pushed him out of the way and behind the Vulcan. Stonn’s own phaser rose.

Five men appeared from seemingly out of nowhere, none of them Pavel. They had phasers raised in their direction. Jim stepped around Stonn and fired. After that it was blast after blast from Sulu, Jim, and Stonn as well as the men. He thought maybe Sarek and Amanda had joined in, but couldn’t keep track. He was too busy.

At one point, Jim was momentarily stunned and fell to the ground. He heard a growl of sorts from Stonn, who once more placed himself in front of Jim and in harm’s way. Jim’s gaze met the gaze of the man hunting them and he saw ‘killer’ as he raised his phaser directly at Stonn’s heart.

Over Jim’s dead body. He kicked at Stonn’s legs, causing the Vulcan to drop to the ground just as the phaser went off. It missed.

Jim rose to his feet. “Stay down, damn it!” he yelled to Stonn, when he made to get up. With a bit of a running start, Jim’s legs flew into the air and right into the torso of their attacker. The guy went flying. As Jim landed, he turned and struck another one who was coming for him with the back of his right fist. Another one came and he took care of that with his left, sending that one flying.

“Sulu? Anymore?” Jim wasn’t even out of breath. His ribs were maybe a little sore from when he’d been stunned.

Sulu was swinging around, looking about the clearing they stood in. “I don’t see or hear anyone. They’re gone.”

Jim nodded. He walked over to where Stonn still sat, now staring at Jim with an expression of awe. “Are you okay?”

“You do not need my protection,” Stonn said. He stood and brushed himself off.   

“No. But I do appreciate having you as a comrade.”

Sarek and Amanda were now standing nearby. Amanda was blinking rapidly but she didn’t really say anything.

“These are the enhancements Spock told me of?” Sarek asked.

“Uh. Yeah. Some of them.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. Sometimes people thought they were freaks because of their abilities. Some kind of mutation. He hadn’t even shared it all with Spock, though maybe Spock guessed. He tried to keep his abilities under wraps, even back on Tarsus. And not just because Mitchell and his dad were after them. He knew Sulu and the others did too. Most people they ran into thought they were abnormal. “I wasn’t always like this. They made me this way.”

“Oh, Jim,” Amanda said coming over to hug him. “Sweetie, we’re not judging you. We’re just surprised. You are still Spock’s mate and Jim Kirk. That’s all that matters to us.”

“Yeah?” he asked uncertainly.

She smiled. “I’m sure it must be really hard knowing who to trust. You trust Spock, don’t you?”

Jim nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Then you can trust us. We’re on your side, Jim. Believe me.”

“Jim?” Sulu spoke. “Pavel.”

Jim turned to see the young Russian boy emerging out of the shadows. Jim smiled. “Were you here the whole time?”

“Yes. I vas inwisible.” His eyes darted around to Amanda, Sarek and Stonn.

“Don’t worry. They’re friends.”

“I know. You did vell, Jim, Hikaru.”

“And you? You’re getting really good,” Sulu said, coming over to hug Pavel. “I never detected you.”

“Have practiced.”

“He can make himself invisible?” Amanda asked.

“His enhancement,” Jim replied. “His only one before the experiments were ended. Otherwise he’s just an ordinary kid.”

“I do not think any of you are ordinary,” Sarek said quietly.

“Let’s get going. I need Spock back.” Jim turned toward their car.

****

Spock straightened in the chair he was now bound to. Mitchell had returned.

“Those restraints are your fault, Mister Spock. You should have known your attempt at escape would not succeed.”

Spock offered no response. The less said to Mitchell the better.

“Seems your boyfriend ran into some trouble in the Denver area.” Mitchell smirked.

“You attacked him?”

“It would have been easier to take what I wanted rather than to wait for it. He’s amassing some kind of mini army. Apparently there are Vulcans with him. I bet you even know who they are. And a human woman.”

Spock kept his face carefully blank, but inside…his turmoil turned his stomach.

“They didn’t succeed. I am not sure whether to be pissed off at that or really fucking glad. Kirk’s strong, really strong, and a tactical genius. He’ll be perfect. And the more of his friends I can use against him, the better. And against you. Your family, I assume.”

Spock tightened his jaw.

“It’s cute really. Them trying to come to your rescue. I’m not sure my father would if I was in your position. Not unless it got him something anyway.” Gary leaned close to Spock. “I haven’t decided by the way.”

“Decided?”

“If Kirk should refuse to join us, whether to let him watch me destroy you or to have you watch me destroy him,” Mitchell said with an evil gleam in his eyes. “Which would be worse, I wonder. Either way, I’ll make both of you watch what I do to your family first. I’ll tear them apart right before your eyes.”

“Is this the part where I tremble in fear?” Spock asked calmly.

“You will, you cold bastard!” Gary spat on him and moved away. “I may destroy you even if Jim does join. I never have liked Vulcans.” He slammed out of the room.  


	25. Amanda's Counsel

“You’re very quiet,” Amanda said, walking up to Jim. They’d stopped at a motel just for a few hours of sleep. Sarek and Amanda had insisted Jim and his friends would need it.  The young men—boys really—Sulu and Chekov were sleeping. But Jim was outside, staring up at the stars. He was huddled into a jacket, a leather one. It was battered and had seen better days. Amanda wondered if Jim had. He held a plastic container of coffee.

“Every delay distresses me,” Jim replied.

“You are starting to sound like my son.”

Jim smiled very slightly.

“Do you feel him, Jim? Is he all right?”

“For now, yes. He’s mostly silent. He fears giving anything away to Mitchell and his captors. He urges caution.” Jim had a faraway look in his eyes.

Amanda sighed and hugged herself. “You are both far too young to be going through this.”

“Age has never been an impediment to my troubles.” Jim dropped his gaze from the stars to Amanda. “I am sorry I brought your son into this. I never intended to cause him trouble.”

“What did you intend, Jim? When you met him.”

“He seemed…safe. I could feel it radiating from him when I saw him in Riverside for the first time. Security. A haven.”

Amanda smiled and touched his hand. “That was your bond, Jim. Even then Spock reached out for you and you yearned for it. He desires to protect you. T’hy’la bonds are very rare and special, Jim. For Spock to have one, it is an honor.”

“It feels like no honor. Not from his point of view.”

“It is, Jim, believe me. I know my son.”

“Still, if he hadn’t met me, he’d not know what he was missing.”

Amanda arched her brows. “You would curse my son to a life without ever finding his t’hy’la. His very heart and soul?”

“No. I…I don’t know.” Jim sighed and returned his gaze to the stars. “I’ve always wanted to be up there. Even when they were doing all those experiments, all those enhancements, I dreamed of being part of Starfleet. But when it all went to shit—excuse me, ma’am—I lost that dream."

“Maybe you haven’t,” Amanda said gently. “Right now our goal is to get Spock back and to ensure your safety. After that…who knows the future?”

“I miss him.”

“Of course you do. But it will be all right, Jim. We will find him and rescue him.”

Jim’s gaze lowered to her once more. “You believe that?”

“Yes. I can’t believe anything else, you know?”

His eyes blazed into her as he slowly nodded.

“Why don’t you tell me of your ‘enhancements’? Do you view them that way?” Amanda sat on the curb next to where the car was parked. She was tired of standing, trying to crane her neck, looking up at Jim. She was pleased when Jim looked down at her for about ten seconds and then took a seat on the curb next to her.

“Sometimes I do. And sometimes not. There are times I want to be just like everyone else.”

“Is there any way to go back?”

“Pike says no.  The operations would have too high a risk of death.”

“What can you do?”

“I have superior hearing. Fighting skills. Strength. I don’t need more than about three hours of sleep.” Jim sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Which is why I can’t believe I slept through them abducting Spock.”

“Jim, no one blames you.”

He exhaled slowly. “I was born with hazel eyes, they were changed to blue.”

“They are beautiful. Can you see better too?”

“At night. I have really good night vision.”

“They didn’t change anyone else’s eye color?”

“Only mine. It was all the idea of Kodos. He wanted to experiment with genetics, biology.”

Amanda nodded. “Anything else?”

“I’ll live longer than your average human. More in line with a Vulcan lifespan, actually.”

“But you are not immortal?”

“God, no. I can’t think of anything worse than out living…everyone.”

Amanda patted his hand. “Still, it’s nice to hear you’ll live around as long as Spock. That’s a concern for a Vulcan with a human mate.”

Jim seemed to look right through her into her soul. “It bothers you and Sarek, doesn’t it?”

“It was something he thought long and hard about before we married,” Amanda admitted. “We were in love, there was never any doubt of that, but bonds are so very different than ordinary romantic relationships. It’s not something to enter into lightly, even when affections are engaged.”

“But you did marry.”

“Yes. We accepted I would die first except for under extreme circumstances. It was our decision that being bonded and together was worth the heartache it would cause later. Sarek decided he would do it. And there was never any doubt I would do anything to be with him.”

“I understand the feeling.”

“Enough of this. You should get what rest you need, Jim. The worst of the battles are yet to come.”

Jim stood and reached down to help her up. “You fight pretty good. Who taught you to fight?”

She smiled. “Sarek, of course. He’s a very stern teacher.”

Jim grinned. “I imagine he is. Especially when it’s someone he cares for.”

Amanda laughed. “You have no idea.” She touched Jim’s cheek. “We’ll get Spock back, Jim. It will be well.”

****

“Pavel? Are you out here?” Jim whispered when he came back outside later. It was dark outside still.

Pavel appeared beside him. “Here.”

“You ready?”

“Yes. You are sure about this?”

Jim glanced back at the motel as Sulu walked up to the pair, car keys in hand. “Yeah. This is our fight. If something were to happen to them…I don’t know what Spock would do.”

“It’s always been us,” Sulu said. “It’s better this way.”

“They vill follow us.”

Jim nodded. “I know. We have to be quick. I’ll drive.” He took the keys from Sulu and they headed for the car.


	26. The Key

Sulu was driving again. Pavel was curled up in the backseat, snoring softly. Poor kid. He was too young for this. They all were really, but Pavel was the youngest of all.

Jim sat next to Sulu and stared straight ahead. He wasn’t really tired, but the constant driving had become tedious and his mind had drifted to places it was better not to go. When Sulu offered to drive for a time, Jim had accepted. They were close now. Very close.

“You regret leaving them behind?” Sulu asked, briefly glancing at Jim.

“In some ways. They wanted to help. But this is our fight, not theirs. They didn’t want this.”

“Neither did we, really.”

“True.” Jim sighed. “But we’re forced to fight. They created us into their ultimate soldiers.”

“They’d want to fight for Spock, though, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah. But if something happens to them because of me…” Jim shook his head. “I can’t think of that. I’ve lost too much already.”

“You probably more than most,” Sulu said softly.

“I shouldn’t have involved Spock. It was stupid.”

“Didn’t you say he was your soulmate or whatever it is in Vulcan?”

“T’hy’la. He is. I guess. I mean yeah. But maybe that’s why I should have left. I should never have stuck around to let Mitchell and his father get ahold of Spock.”

Sulu shook his head. “It’s not like you to second guess your decisions, Kirk. You’ve always done what needed to be done to survive. And help many of us survive as well.”

“It’s a high cost.”

Sulu fell silent for about ten minutes. “We aren’t going to beat them, are we?”

Jim glanced at him. “Your Spidey senses telling you that?”

Sulu snorted. “You’re the clairvoyant one. That’s why I’m asking.”

“I don’t use that so-called enhancement. It’s dormant.”

“Only because you make it that way, Jim. You could bring it forth. You could see what our future is.”

“Look, the truth is it hurts when I do it. It gives me an excruciating headache for hours.”

Sulu nodded. “You have time. Do it now and by the time we pick up Pike and Number One as well as this doctor friend of yours—”

“Spock’s friend. I hardly know him.”

“You’re stalling.”

Jim leaned his head back on the car seat. “You really want to know?”

“If I’m facing certain death? Yeah. You don’t have to tell Pavel or anyone else. Keep it between the two of us.” Sulu tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

“What I see isn’t certain. It could change.”

“It rarely does.”

Jim closed his eyes. “Be careful what you wish for.”

****

“Come on, Vulcan.” Gary Mitchell slapped Spock awake. He smirked when Spock blinked several times. “Having a romantic dream? About our Jimmy perhaps? I know all about your bond. And how terrible it’s going to be when one of you dies.”

“What do you want?” Spock asked quietly. His wrists were chafed from being tied behind him so long, in a bind he had been unable to undo.

“You’re in luck. My daddy wants to see you.”

“Admiral Mitchell?”

“Who else? On your feet.” Mitchell yanked Spock up off the chair. His legs wobbled slightly, ill-used.

“For what purpose?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask. I’m just following orders.”

Mitchell shoved him out of the room and down a long corridor. Then they got into a lift.

“Lover boy ditched your folks, by the way,” Mitchell informed him. “Or do you already know that because of your mind thingy?” He shrugged. “Not gonna answer huh?"

The lift opened and Mitchell shoved him out.  They went down another corridor to an office door. Mitchell entered a code in a keypad and the door opened.

As they entered the room, a chair swiveled around to reveal a man who was an older, silver haired version of Gary Mitchell.

“Welcome, Mister Spock.” His gaze flicked to Gary. “Undo his bindings, Gary. There’s no need to be uncivil.”

Gary moved behind Spock to undo his bound hands.

“Have a seat.” Admiral Mitchell, who wore his Starfleet uniform though he was not in an official office, gestured to a chair in front of the large wooden desk. “Beverage? Vulcans prefer tea, do they not?”

Spock did not immediately respond and the admiral turned once more to his son.

“Get my guest some tea, Gary. And some biscuits or cookies or something.” Admiral Mitchell steepled his fingers as his son moved away. He smiled at Spock though it lacked any warmth at all. “So, Mister Spock. You are the key.”

“The key, Admiral?”

“To James T. Kirk.”  


	27. I Can Feel the Darkness Coming

“Something’s not right,” Jim said softly to Sulu. “They aren’t here.”

They had arrived where they expected to find Pike and Number One. Only—

“Think it vas a trap?” Pavel whispered, coming up to stand behind them.

The old house was empty. Jim was sure of it. For how long, he did not know. He could get no sense of the home’s former occupants.

“It looks to me like they haven’t been here for a while,” Sulu said. “This place hasn’t been lived in recently.”

“Vhere are they?”

“I don’t know,” Jim admitted. But something drew him forward. He waved at the other two. “Stay here.”

“What?” Sulu exclaimed.

“I’m going to check it out.”

“If you go, we all go. We have to stick together, Kirk. It was decided.”

Jim looked from him to Chekov, who nodded.

“All right. But have your phasers ready. On stun.”

“Is that wise?”

“I don’t want to accidentally kill anyone,” Jim said. “Do you?”

Sulu nodded. “Okay.”

They followed Jim closely as they approached the house. Perhaps too closely because it felt like they were clinging to him a bit. He knew amongst the enhanced kids he had always taken on a leadership role. Someone had to.

“Chris?” he called out when he reached the door. “Number One?”

There was nothing. Only an eerie silence that crawled up his spine, prickling his skin.  

He twisted the knob of the front door but it was locked. Jim shook his head and then grabbed it again, twisting it harder until it gave way. He pushed the door open, holding his breath.

“Vhat do you see?” Pavel whispered from behind him.

“Nothing yet. Stay here.” Jim stepped into the house and through the living room, phaser raised. He turned toward the kitchen.

Lying on the floor in a pool of caked and dried blood was Number One. His stomach twisted. He went to her, and knelt beside her. There was a hatchet in her head and it had split her face in two. She smelled terrible and had obviously been decomposing for some time. Flies and maggots had assaulted her body.

“Oh, my God,” Sulu said from behind him.

“I told you to stay out,” Jim whispered. He was torn between crying and his gag reflexes.

“She’s dead.”

“No kidding.” Jim rose.  

“Do you think Pike—?”

“I don’t know, Hikaru.” And he didn’t want to think about it. “I guess we’ll see.”

Jim continued searching the house, the other boys right behind him. There was a bedroom in the back and Jim didn’t want to go to it. He stopped just short of it in the hallway.

“Jim?”

He shook his head. His throat hurt. His chest hurt. “He’s in there.”

“How do you know?”

“I know,” he whispered. His eyes stung with tears. “I can see him. And-and the smell.”

“Jim—”

“We need to get out of here. Now. Let’s move on.”

“You don’t vant to bury them?” Pavel asked softly.

“No. I-I can’t.”

“Hikaru and I will do it. You wait outside by the car, Jim.”

“Pavel.”

Pavel squeezed his arm. “It von’t take long. And I do not vant to leave them this vay.”

Jim nodded and fled the house, his back to everything as he leaned against the car. He let the tears flow and tried to pretend he couldn’t hear the sounds of shovels.

When Sulu and Chekov told him they were done, they got back in the car, Jim behind the wheel. His mind was on Spock. He missed him. Needed him. How was he going to manage all this? He had thought he’d have direction from Pike. But now? Jim was just a kid. Didn’t anyone remember that?

“Jim, you okay?” Sulu asked from next to him.

“No,” he admitted. “There are too many obstacles.”

Sulu shot him a look but he said nothing.

“If anyone can do it, it is you, Jim,” Pavel said from the back seat.

Jim smiled a little. “Thanks. “ He clenched his fists.

“What now?” Sulu asked.

“We meet up with Leonard McCoy and we go find Spock.”


	28. Out of the Darkness and Into the Light of the Day

Spock was waiting for Admiral Mitchell to continue explaining what he had meant by Spock being the key to James Kirk when the building Mitchell’s office was in was rocked by a loud explosion.

“Son of a bitch,” Gary swore, standing just behind Spock.

His father looked his way. “I believe our expected guests have arrived. Go check it out.”

Gary ran from the room leaving Spock alone with Admiral Mitchell.

“I admit I had not expected such theatrics from Kirk. I anticipated he would try to sneak in to this compound. He would have failed.”

Spock said nothing.

Admiral Mitchell opened his mouth, a sneer on his face, and then as Spock watched a very young man suddenly appeared behind him, holding a phaser. He shot it at Admiral Mitchell, who collapsed on his desk.

The young man lowered the phaser and nodded at Spock. “Hello, Mister Spock. I am Pavel Chekov. It is unfortunate ve did not meet in better circumstances,” the boy said in heavily accented Russian.

“You are with Jim?”

“Da. As you see the Admiral underestimated Jim.”

Spock stood. “Is he dead?”

“Only stunned for now. Jim said phasers on stun.”

Of course, Jim would. And Spock agreed. But they could not allow Admiral Mitchell to regain consciousness. Not for some time anyway.

“There,” Chekov pointed to a closet door. “A good place for storage.”

Spock picked up the admiral and carried him to the closet. The young boy opened the door and Spock deposited him in it. Spock closed the door and then bent the knob to prevent him from getting out easily.

“Impressive. You are enhanced?”

Spock shook his head. “Just Vulcan. Where is he?”

“They are taking care of the guards. Hopefully Gary Mitchell too.”

The door of Admiral Mitchell’s office burst open with a bang and Chekov lifted his phaser, pointing it in that direction.

Spock’s father held up his hands. “Do not shoot.”

“Sir.” Chekov lowered it.

“Father. It is pleasing to see you under these circumstances.”

Sarek inclined his head. “Agreed. I see you are unharmed. Your mother will be pleased.”

As if on cue, Amanda pushed past her husband and came rushing at Spock. He caught her as she roughly embraced him.

“Mother, I am well.”

“Thank God. I could just strangle you.”

“That is not logical.”

“And where is Jim? I want to kill him.”

“Also not logical,” Spock pointed out.

“Neither is ditching me.” Mother pulled back but she rested her hand on Spock’s face. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Wife, there is no time for reunions. We must help the others.”

Spock agreed, as he still needed to find Jim, and make sure that Gary Mitchell would not harm him.

They heard another loud explosion and then phaser blasts. Spock squeezed the hand of his mother and accepted a firearm from his father as they exited the admiral’s office. There was smoke rising in parts of the building.

Spock spotted Stonn fending off several guards but he could tell Stonn was beginning to weaken from the constant barrage.

They ran toward him to help and as Spock raised his firearm at the guard coming up behind Stonn, a Japanese man came from the side, twisting in the air, and kicking the guard in the head. Spock assumed he was another of Jim’s enhanced friends.

Between their band of Vulcans and humans they managed to take care of the remaining guards in the area.

The Japanese man holstered his gun. He wasn’t even out of breath. “You must be Spock. I’m Hikaru Sulu.”

“Where is Jim, Mr. Sulu?” Spock asked.

“I don’t know. I got separated from him and Leonard McCoy after the last explosion.”

“Leonard is here also?”

Sulu nodded. “Complaining the entire way.”

“And Pike and his wife?”

Sulu frowned. “Dead, unfortunately. Killed by Mitchell’s goons.”

“Hikaru,” Chekov spoke up. “Have you seen Gary?”

“No. But I’m guessing Jim has.”

Spock had the same guess and he didn’t like it one bit.

****

“Okay, kid, this is what we’re gonna do,” Bones whispered to Jim as they crouched down in a destroyed area of the building.

Jim glanced at the doctor. “Did I forget to tell you I’m in charge, Bones?”

“You do know my name is Leonard and not Bones.”

“And my name isn’t kid. Can it, Bones.”

“Jim? I know you’re in here,” Gary called, suddenly appearing in the middle of the debris. “You may as well come out.” His eyes were silver, which Jim knew very well was a bad sign. “I admit you’ve surprised me. But now, you need to come out. I won’t kill all your friends if you do.”

Jim snorted. “Right,” he whispered.

Gary raised his hand and made the rocks near him shake. “You know I can beat you, Jim. I’m better than you. I’ve always been better than you.”

Bones suddenly rose up from next to Jim.

Jim tried to grab him and pull him down but he was too fast. He went straight out for Gary Mitchell.

“Who are you?” Mitchell demanded. “I do not recall you as one of the enhanced.”

“I’m a doctor not an enhancement,” Bones told him.

Mitchell blinked at him. “What are you doing here? I am looking for Jim. Jim Kirk.”

“Sorry, buddy, I don’t know any Jim. I was just in this building when the explosion happened.”

Jim shook his head. “Bones.” He moved away from where he was hiding and started to circle around to the other side of Gary.

“Well, doctor. You are in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Mitchell said, raising his hand out toward Bones.

“Fuck,” Jim growled, coming out of hiding just as an electric charge hit Bones and sent him flying.

Gary turned instantly toward Jim as Jim fired his phaser. Gary staggered back but remained on his feet. “You know that won’t do anything to me, Jim.”

Jim fired again. And again. Over and over. “Maybe not permanently. But you’ll weaken.”

The silver faded from Gary’s eyes as he staggered once more. Jim used that break in Gary’s power to launch himself at his former friend. He knocked him back into the rubble, his hands going around Gary’s throat squeezing. He didn’t have much time before Gary would be at full power again.

Jim suddenly found himself flying through the air. He landed hard on his back. That was going to fucking hurt later.

Gary began to rise, his eyes glowing silver once more.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Jim lifted his own hand at the destroyed building above Gary’s head. Ceiling tiles began to crash down on Gary, bashing him in the head and shoulders at ever increasing speeds. Gary dropped to his knees, the silver disappearing once more from his eyes. One more tile fell right on the top of his head and Gary went down.

Jim let out a heavy breath, lying flat on his back for a moment. He had aches and pains in every muscle in his body. Finally he struggled to his feet, checking on Gary to see if he was really and truly incapacitated.

And he was. Gary Mitchell was dead.

Jim then hurried over, well as much as his aching body would let him hurry, to Bones. He knelt beside the doctor. “You’d better be alive, you idiot.”

Bones’ eyes fluttered open. “Kid?”

Jim grinned. “Welcome back.”

Bones groaned. “That guy packs a wallop.”

“Packed.”

“Huh?”

“Past tense, Bones.”

“Oh.”

_Jim?_

Spock contacting him through their bond thingy. That was something he’d still have to get used to.

_Here, Spock. And okay. Mitchell is dead. Bones is here too. We’re good. You?_

_Stay there, we are coming._

“Spock?” Bones asked with a raised brow.

“Yep.”

“Kid, I think I’m beginning to like you.”

“Everybody does eventually,” Jim told him with a wink.  


	29. And I Could Give You My Devotion ‘Til the End of Time

The minute he saw Jim among the rubble and disarray of the building, cuts spread across his too young face, smears of blood, mostly his own from what Spock could tell, Spock’s world righted itself.  

Prior to the arrival of Spock’s t’hy’la in his life, he had not known how much he desperately wanted this. Now that Jim was there Spock had no intention of them being parted. Not again.

He knew the moment Jim saw him, for though Jim had been crouched down next to Spock’s friend, Leonard McCoy, at the sight of Spock, he rose with effortless grace. For perhaps ten seconds they stared at each other, both frozen.

Spock didn’t know which one of them ran to the other first. Which took the first hurried steps toward the other. In the end it did not matter.

Jim threw his arms around Spock so tight and so hard that it took a moment for Spock to stabilize himself so that he would not fall. He clutched at Jim just as fiercely, their mouths meeting in a kiss that was meant to be tender but turned passionate, all consuming. Spock’s whole body felt electrified by the contact with his mate. And the bond…it flared happily to life, warm and golden in his mind.

Jim pulled away first, but not far, just to break the perhaps too sensual kiss they had been sharing. He gazed into Spock’s eyes, his blue eyes shining.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“It was never my intention,” Spock assured him.

“I don’t-I don’t know how to be without you anymore,” Jim said, his voice cracking. He was so young and vulnerable. Had Jim not already killed Gary Mitchell, Spock would see to it.

His hands were shaking when they came up to frame Jim’s face. “There will never be a need.”

“Promise?”

It would be illogical to promise they would never be apart again. And yet Spock did not care. He would promise anything to his t’hy’la. “I promise.”

They were kissing again, the kiss initiated by Jim. He could tell by the thrum of energy radiating just under Jim’s skin they would need to find a way to be alone together soon. Jim’s passion was a powerful thing and Spock’s desire responded to it. How could it not?

“You two ought to get a room,” Leonard muttered from close by.

Jim broke off the kiss again with a breathless laugh and his swollen lips just made Spock want to kiss them all over again. But then he heard the running footsteps of his mother and as he turned to see her dashing at them, he let go of Jim.

Mother was hugging Jim, squashing him from the way his eyes popped and he grunted. “You idiot!” She pulled back to glare at him, but then embraced him hard again. “We’re family now. You don’t just leave your family behind.”

“Well, I—”

“Don’t even try to come up with an excuse. There’s nothing that will make that okay. You got that, James?”

Jim cleared his throat. He had turned very red. Spock almost felt sorry for his mate. “Yes, ma’am.”

She released Jim at last and turned to Spock, who she hugged again, even though she had hugged him earlier before they reunited with Jim. Spock noticed over the top of his mother’s head that Stonn was standing very close to Jim and speaking in a low voice to him.

“Mother, what is Stonn saying to Jim?”

“Hmm?” She looked behind her at the pair. “Oh. I have no idea. But you know, Stonn has a bit of a crush on Jim.”

“A-a what?”

“It’s actually kind of sweet.”

“I find nothing at all sweet in another Vulcan coveting my husband,” Spock said stiffly.

“Oh, he knows he has no chance with Jim. He’s very protective though. I’m betting he’s lecturing Jim on leaving us behind.”

Judging by the way Jim was smiling, Stonn was not lecturing him. In any case, Spock did not care to let it go on. He disentangled himself from his mother’s embrace and walked over to Jim. He put his hand on Jim’s back possessively.

“Stonn.”

“Spock.”

“I see you have met my husband, Jim.”

Stonn nodded. “I have. You are fortunate in your mate.”

Spock quirked a brow and gently pulled Jim away from Stonn and pushed him behind himself. “Indeed.”

At that moment, Spock’s father called to Stonn, distracting him from Spock’s wrath no doubt, for which Spock was gratified.

Jim was smirking when Spock turned back to him. “What was that all about?”

“To what do you refer?”

“The manhandling me away from your cousin.”

“I did not—”

“Oh, you definitely did. You have no need to be jealous, Spock. Trust me.” Jim leaned in close, his hot breath on Spock’s ear, causing gooseflesh all over Spock’s skin. “I really want you to fuck me,” he whispered.

Spock swallowed. “That is my goal as well.”

“How do we get out of here and go somewhere?”

“We must still deal with Admiral Mitchell and the remainder of those assisting him in his crimes.”

Jim grimaced. “Nuts.”

“Do not worry, ashaya. We will be alone soon.”

“Didn’t I tell you two to get a room?” Leonard demanded, approaching them.

“Well, I want to, but Spock says—”

“Save it, kid.”

Jim flashed Leonard what Spock knew was his winning smile. “You okay, old man?”

“I’m sore everywhere but nothing’s broken. What about you, kid? Should probably examine you.”

“No, I’m good.”

“That is a good idea, Leonard,” Spock said at the same time. “Jim, just to be on the safe side let Leonard make sure you have no severe injuries.”

Jim looked down right petulant. But he sighed. “Fine. But no poking at anything. And no hyposprays.”

Leonard smiled, not at all innocently. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

****

“Is this real?” Jim asked, his voice sounding uncertain.

Spock tilted his head. They were standing in the San Francisco apartment where it had all began, basically. Where Spock had taken Jim once they’d met on the shuttle.

“Clarify.”

“Are we really here? Back in your apartment?”

“Our apartment,” Spock corrected.

Jim’s blue eyes glistened. “Am I really free of it all?”

Spock encircled Jim’s wrists and drew him closer. “You are. No one will bother you. No one will experiment on you. Your files, your past, it is all classified. Buried so deep no one will find it. And I will protect you always.”

Jim’s smile was so radiantly beautiful Spock had to stop himself from asking if that was real. "I love you. So much. I can’t even believe how much I love you.”

Spock pulled Jim into his arms, and wrapped them around Jim’s middle. “I-I reciprocate.”

“And we can really live here? Like together?”

“Yes, Jim. And you will enter the Starfleet Academy in the spring.” Spock kissed his forehead. “And until then, I must advise you that Mother is insistent we visit Vulcan.”

“She told me the same thing.”

Spock nodded. “I have booked us passage the day after tomorrow.”

“And until then? We’re going to spend every hour until that time in bed, right?” Jim’s grin was teasing and sexual all at once. Spock became instantly aroused. Unbearably so.

“Every minute,” Spock agreed, grasping Jim’s hand in his and leading him toward the bedroom.

“Every second,” Jim said.

Spock merely nodded his agreement, too intent on removing every scrap of clothing from Jim’s body. He pushed Jim down to sit on the bed and then he knelt before him, pulling off Jim’s ankle boots first, followed by his serviceable black socks. Spock spent a moment massaging Jim’s bare feet, his gaze never wavering from Jim’s.

“That feels amazing,” Jim whispered.

“It is my duty to take care of you in every way.”

“Is it?” Jim’s lips curved in an impossibly sweet smile.

“Indeed. You are my mate, my t’hy’la, my husband.”

“Your property?” Jim teased.

“Some ancient Vulcans might still think of their chosen ones as chattel.”

“But you do not.”

Spock’s nostrils flared. “Well…not always.”

Jim laughed and Spock straightened and leaned up to cover Jim’s mouth with his. He nipped lightly at those plump lips. He wanted to bite Jim everywhere.

“Hey, hey, not everywhere,” Jim said softly.   

“Everywhere,” Spock murmured, even as he pulled back to pull Jim’s shirt off. He splayed his hands all over bare golden skin. “You are perfection. And you are mine. I would mark you all over. Then all will know you are my mate.”

Jim shook his head. “They already know.”

Spock’s fingers slid to the waistband of Jim’s pants. “I will just have to keep you in bed so no one else can see you to want you.”

Jim rose up enough for Spock to peel the too tight pants off his body. He reminded himself for later to buy Jim pants that were looser on him. At least while he was in public, anyway.

“You are not wearing anything under the pants.”

“Yeah, kinda tight so I just didn’t bother.”

“Did not—” Spock nipped at Jim’s inner thigh and while his husband yelped dramatically, his cock also rose, perked up by Spock’s nearness.

Spock could not delay any longer. He stood and divested himself of his own attire. Jim’s eyes were on him the entire time. His tongue darted out to trace his lips and Spock nearly stumbled getting out of his trousers.

He seized the lubricant bottle and pounced on the bed. He threaded his fingers with Jim’s and then slanted his mouth over his mate’s, over and over, tasting, conquering. Jim was pleading, moaning, whimpering, begging.

“Yes, ashaya.”

His slicked fingers parted Jim’s ass, and stroked lightly at his hole, touching the outer rim with care.  Spock bent down, putting his face directly in line with Jim’s crease.

“Spock?”

“Shh.”

He lapped his tongue around the rim, as his fingertips had traced, then darted it inside.

Jim gasped, clutching at the sheets and blankets of the bed. “Oh. My God.”

Spock continued to wet him with his tongue, jabbing in deeper until Jim was a mewling, crying mess, begging Spock to take him.

He pushed a finger inside to the knuckle, and then another.

“Just…please. Please Spock. I can’t wait. Please.”

Spock reared back and slicked himself, before pointing his member at Jim’s hole. Jim wrapped his legs around Spock, tilting himself high for Spock’s invasion.       

“Want you in my head too.”

Spock had to bend Jim near in half, but he put his fingers to Jim’s face and joined their minds, even as he entered Jim’s tight channel.

Once their minds were joined, twisting and knotting around each other like threads of a rope, a rainbow bright and clear, a sun rising over the mountains. Their minds were one. Spock’s fingers moved from Jim’s face to his hipbones as he thrust deep into his mate, the intensity of their joining like nothing he had ever felt. Jim’s eyelids were half-closed but he was staring in wonder at Spock as they climaxed together.

A long time later when they could move and breathe again, Spock held Jim close, on top of him, strong arms holding him tighter than was strictly necessary but neither minded. Their minds still buzzed from their joining, their bond as bright as the sun.

“I fucking love you so much,” Jim whispered, kissing Spock’s chest.

“Which is only half as much as I love you.”

Jim sighed, but it was a contented sigh. "After everything I've been through, knowing you is the best thing I've ever had happen."

"And for me," Spock assured him. 

“You saved me you know. From all of that. Everything.” Jim’s fingers were shaking as they rose to Spock’s jaw.

“I think it was you who saved me, Jim.”

Jim smiled and closed his eyes. “Perhaps we saved each other then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this.


End file.
